


Save Me| Changlix

by smilesungg



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 28,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28172445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilesungg/pseuds/smilesungg
Summary: Felix was always the happy smiley boy in class decked from head to toe in bright colours. Until something happens that changes his whole personality.Changbin's the quiet kid with a dark past who prefers to just observe. When Felix's personality changes will he be able  to help him before it's too late?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	1. Prologue

I remember seeing you for the first time two years ago when you moved to South Korea from Australia. You where stood at the front of the class being told to introduce yourself, you looked so panicked, stumbling over your Korean you finally managed to get out your name. When the teacher directed you to your seat I remember you having to ask her to repeat herself four times before you completely understood what she’d said.

With flushed cheeks you made your way to the back of the classroom closer to my seat. The seat next to me by the window was where you sat in that class for the nest 6 months and in that time the only thing I’d managed to say to you was “Hi, my names Changbin.”

I think it caught me off guard that I’d even tried to speak to you that day. I’m not one for conversation, if something can be solved with out word then I would solve it other wise I’d keep myself to myself. I prefer to just observe you see and what I observed about you in that first year was enough for me to keep my distance. You seemed so constantly happy that I though you would be better off without me in your life. See I’m not a good person, I’m not a bad one either just so you know. Theres just some stuff in my past that’s a bit fucked up and I’d rather not to get close to anyone because the minute they find out about the real me they leave out of fear of disgust.

When we got the seating plans to this year I was happy to be at least sat next to you again this year, but Felix. What happened to you over the summer? When you walked in on the first day back the cute pastel sweaters and bright red hair had been switched to dark long-sleeved hoodies and black ripped jeans. Your happy smile that would alway light up the classroom was switched to a permanent frown. You seemed to want to disappear.

Maybe that’s why this year went the way it did. Maybe that’s why I made the decision to speak to you. Maybe if I hadn’t we wouldn’t be in this situation right now, I wouldn’t be sat with you in hospital hoping you keep fighting, because if I hadn’t spoken to you I don’t think you would have made it to the hospital. I don’t think I would be able to have the hope of you coming back. I think there’s a chance that if our friends hadn’t found you you’d be dead.


	2. you okay

Beginning of Felix's second year in Korea

-Changbin's POV-

Walking to school was something I had always loved, not due to where I was going, which in someway resembled hell, but because it was time where I could talk to Chan and Jisung about music and not have to worry about anyone really listening into our conversation. This year was going to be a bit different though as chan had graduated leaving me behind with Jisung and his, although caring sometimes, ass of a crush. Don't get me wrong Minho, Ji's crush, was one of my best friends, however both of the boys where so oblivious to their feeling towards each other it was painful. Walking to school was torcher having to deal with their awkward attempts at flirting with each other and the longing glances, it kinds makes me feel sick.

However what I hadn't expected when meeting with the two love birds was to find, behind them, giving the same disgusted look that normally landed on my face when with them, Felix, decked from head to toe in black. You see it wasn't seeing Felix that was the shock, we had promised Chan that we would walk with him to school on the first week back as his friends were still in America on holiday. What surprised me was the fact that the Felix I remember from last year was no where to be seen, the vibrant red hair had been replaced with a bleach blonde, almost completely covered by a black beanie, the bright or sometime pastel hoodie, which had been my favourite thing about the boy, the fact he had no care for others opinions on his clothes, where replaced with a back hoodie with a wilted rose on the left sleeve and black ripped jeans, the only thing in his outfit with any colour where the deep almost blood red converse.

The next thing I noticed after recognising the boy was the fact he wasn't smiling, even when stuck with his friend Seungmin and Hyunjin, who were dating (kind of its complicated) and quite into random public displays of affection, I'd never seen him glare at anyone for showing any kind of affection. In fact he was a very affectionate person around his friend, I unfortunately was not one of them, not form lack of trying on Felix's side, I just didn't want anymore people to have to deal with me and my fucked up past so I pushed him away and avoided him when ever I could.

"You coming mate?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by Minho who was looking at me expectantly. Looking at my phone I realised if we didn't leave now we were going to be late to first period. Replying with a small nod and turned walking in the direction of the school.

The walk was quiet if you weren't listening to Ji and Minho, who had apparently not spent everyday of the summer with each other missing recording sessions and dance practices to go and "hang out". I slowly ended up falling behind walking next to Felix who didn't even spare me a glance.

As the large building of our high school loomed into view I notice Felix tense slightly beside me. He seemed worried about something as his pace slowed even further to the point of stoping.

"Hey Felix, you okay?" I asked before I could stop myself. It wasn't that I didn't care I wouldn't have asked if I didn't. It's more the fact I have this cold and intimidating reputation that a comment as innocent as checking if some one was okay could tear down. I needed that reputation it had kept me safe until now and the more people I let in the more likely that my past will catch back up to me.

"I'm fine, hyung" Felix replied and even though I could tell he was lying I let it go immediately making a mental note to text Chan to let him know something was wrong with Felix later.

Walking into class a few minutes late was not a good idea. Especially when you have Mr. Park as your teacher, he's a good teacher but he's strict as hell. Once last year Chan fell asleep and was made to solve a whole equation from a topic they hadn't even covered yet. He got it right because he's a smart ass but never the less he still go a weeks detention.

Luckily for me and for Felix who was smart enough to be put up into my maths class Mr. Park hadn't arrived yet. Unluckily, there were only two seats left in the whole room, they where next to each other at the back of the classroom by the window. The same seat as I had had the whole of last year. This meant I had another year of trying to convince myself I didn't want to be friends with Felix while still observing and admiring everything he did.

When Mr. Park finally arrived it seemed luck just wasn't on my side today as he set us a partner task to get to know our seat partner and to review some of the content form the past year.

I heard Felix groan from beside me.

"Am I really that repulsive to work with Felix?" I asked meaning it as a joke, however instead of a laugh or a verbal response he just glared at me before turning his seat to face away from me. Realising I wasn't going to get anything else out of him I thought it would be a good idea to message Chan to ask about earlier.

**Binnie**

hey hyung Channie Hyung

**Chan**

hey binnie

why are u texting me in class

**Binnie**

im worried about Felix

did something happen over the summer

**Chan**

not that I know of

why what happened

**Binnie**

when we got into school this morning he froze

it was almost as if he was scared of something

**Chan**

ill ask when he gets home

thanks for letting me know

"Seo Changbin. Is that conversation on your phone something you want to share with the class?" Mr. Park shouted to the class.

Now at this point I had two choices:

Tell him that it wasn't something I wanted to share and that I would pay attention.

Or choice two which I picked because it was more likely to get me into trouble and I needed to keep up the reputation of someone not to be messed with for my own safety so instead I reapplied with,

"Its none of your fucking business sir. And to be frank its more entertaining and important than what ever shit we're reviewing. So would you ever so kindly leave me the fuck alone?"

The rest of the class turned to me with a look of shock on their faces where as Minho looked like he had know what was coming the minute the question had left Mr. Parks mouth.

"Is that really any way to talk to your teacher young man?" Mr. Park retorted "I am going to say this only once before you get sent to the principle. I was really hoping you'd clear up your act this year what with out birth family back in town, just remember that you so called adoptive family can't protect you forever. Now get out before I drag you out myself."


	3. no-ones going to hurt you

**_Italics is past events_ **

**Felix's POV**

The class had fallen silent after Changbin's outburst. I couldn't help but feel slightly responsible as I had almost refused to work with him. I hadn't done it out of being rude. I had made effort last year to try and be friends with him and had the summer not happened I probably would have tried again this year. There was something about him. The fact he never seemed to have many people near him and when he did there seemed to be some unspoken agreement to not talk about his personal life.

It wasn't unknown that he had lived with Minho for the past few years, but no one ever dared to question it. Minho didn't even seem to know the reason Changbin didn't live with or speak to his family.

I remember when I moved here from Australia last year I was put into the same seat I'm sat in now and before I had even got my stuff out of my bag Changbin was talking to me. It wasn't a long conversation as I didn't know much Korean and he didn't seem to know much English but it was nice. I thought we would become friends but when I walked in the next day and tried to talk to him he completely ignored me. That didn't stop me from trying as he was round my house a lot to visit my cousin so I would keep trying talk to him, sometimes I would get one worded answers but I was mostly just ignored which I had to admit hurt a bit. Chan, however assured me this was normal and not to worry he just was a very closed off person. For some reason I didn't quite believe that. It almost felt as if he was trying to hide something.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the bell ringing signalling it was time to move to second period. For me this meant English. Being from Australia I was already fluent in English so normally spent most of the lesson talking to Jinnie and Ji and Minnie, but today only Han was in school as the other two were still in America. That wasn't a huge problem it was just that Ji doesn't know what happened while I was back home visiting my family over the summer and I kinda needed the support today.

I wanted to tell Ji what happened over the summer but it's difficult and a long story. It started in Australia and got worse when I got back. A salty taste brought me out of my thoughts, I realised I was crying. Not wanting anyone to see I ran towards the nearest bathroom to clean my face and try and reduce the puffy redness of my eyes.

Splashing water on my face I looked up into the mirror, now my hair was swept back you could see the thin scar on the side of my head.

_"We don't need you here, you worthless piece of shit" the person I trusted most said before throwing a cracked glass bottle towards my face. "You should have been the one to die not him. Your brother never did anything wrong, never once did he run away from his family. Why the fuck was I left with a fucking lazy good for nothing asshole instead of him. What did you do to deserve to stay alive?"_

I felt myself slowly crumpling to the floor as the memory flashed through my head. I am crying again, I can tell that, what I didn't expect was the warm arms that rapped around me pulling me towards the persons chest.

"Hey Felix, its okay your safe, no-ones going to hurt you. Follow my breathing okay. I'm here to help you. Do you want me to call Chan?" There was a pause before he spoke again, "Felix I need you to talk to me, okay? I'm not going to hurt you."

The boys voice was oddly calming. I had broken down so many times over the summer, Chan and Minnie would try to help me calm down but nothing would work. Something about this boy helped me calm down, I still didn't dare to look up though as I was aware of how puffy my face would have gotten.

"I-it's okay. You don't need to call Chan, I'm fine. Nothings wrong." I choked out, my chest still sore from crying.

"Felix, if you're trying to tell me that your okay even after I've found you crying alone in the bathroom I'm going to find that incredibly hard to believe," the boy said a slight laugh to his tone.

"Felix, look at me."

Something inside me knew that I could trust this boy and now I had calmed I recognised the boys voice. He was the last person I had ever thought would be sat next to me on the floor of a dirty school bathroom letting me cry into his chest that's for sure. 


	4. your secret could hurt you

** Changbin's POV **

The principles office was a waste of time. 'We hope you know that what you did was wrong. A weeks detention. Don't do it again.' It was the same lecture I got every time I entered that room. I mean it's not like they could do much else. I just get lectured on how I'm a straight A student and how I should act that way.

Walking towards second period I got the usual stares and whispers but no one had the guts to come and talk to me. I like to think I scare them some what but some how, no matter how hard I try I couldn't scare of Minho who decided it would be fun to jump on my back while I was getting my books out of my locker.

"What do you want asshole?" I asked after shoving him off my back.

"Just thought you'd want to know Felix just ran into the bathroom in tears." He replied with a serious look on his face. Not really to sure how what Felix did was any of my business I turned to him with a confused look. "Chan asked you to keep an eye on him until Seungmin gets back mate, you need to go and find out what's wrong." He said clearing up my confusion.

With a groan I took off towards the bathroom Minho had see Felix enter.

Walking in through the door you could hear someone crying before you could see them, rounding the slight corner I could see someone huddled in a ball in the corner their body shaking as they sobbed. Something inside of me felt pain for the boy even though I didn't know what was wrong with him. It was like an invisible string was pulling me towards him telling me I had to comfort him and make sure he was okay.

It was almost on instinct that I wrapped Felix into a hug hoping that would help.

"Hey Felix, its okay your safe, no-ones going to hurt you. Follow my breathing okay. I'm here to help you. Do you want me to call Chan?" I pause waiting for any type of response from the crying boy, "Felix I need you to talk to me, okay? I'm not going to hurt you." Not really knowing what else to do to help in the situation.

"I-it's okay. You don't need to call Chan, I'm fine. Nothings wrong." He chocked out into my chest. The statement almost made me laugh. This boy really expected me to believe he was in this much of a state for no reason.

"Felix, if you're trying to tell me that your okay even after I've found you crying alone in the bathroom I'm going to find that incredibly hard to believe," I said, not wanting to push him into telling me anything until he felt comfortable I continued "Felix, look at me."

A look of confusion graced his beautiful features, even though he'd been crying he still somehow managed to look like an angel.

"If you don't feel comfortable telling me what's wrong can you at least make sure you talk to Chan when you get home. I already texted him about this morning and he said he didn't know what was wrong. He's your cousin Felix, if you're going to keep breaking down at school you need to tell him what happened." I said as softly as possible not wanting to cause the boy to start crying again.

"I will tell him hyung. It's just a lot of suff happened over the summer and some of it I'm not sure I'm comfortable him knowing yet. I have Seungmin, he knows everything that happened because he was the only person I felt I could trust with what was happening. I'm sacred that I'll tell Chan hyung and he'll react bad." He said tearing up again, I engulfed him back into a hug.

"I don't think Chan will react badly towards you. He seems genuinely worried and until Seungmin comes home you're going to need some one who knows what's going on. If everything does go wrong I'm always here if you need me." The last sentence slipped out before I could stop it. It wasn't that I didn't mean it, but I couldn't have him near me, if my parents found out all hell would break loose but it was to late to take it back.

"You know Changbin, you're really good at giving advice." Felix said with a thoughtful look "Maybe I'm overstepping the line here but it's no secret to anyone here that you have something going. Don't you dare tell me its nothing after I've sat here crying to you for the past hour. Maybe you should take your own advice before what ever secret you're keeping blows up in your face." He paused taking himself out of my grip and picking up his school stuff and walking towards the door, he turned back to me before leaving "Thanks for your advice, I have to get back to class. Just think about what I said, for some reason I think your secret will lead to you getting hurt if no one knows."


	5. you can talk to me

**Changbin's POV**

Arriving home at the end of a day is the best feeling ever, especially on days where you have no homework set. For me its like a weight gets lifted off my shoulders by the fact I've made it through another day without them finding me and without anyone else figuring out my secret. Today, however arriving home didn't bring that welcomed feeling. My mind keeps playing back to the bathroom, more specifically what Felix said as he left. Was it really that obvious that I was hiding something, or had Chan mentioned something to Felix. I doubt he would have but I've been hiding this secret for nearly four years and Felix took lest than half an hour to figure out something was up.

"Changbin, I'm going to Jisung's tonight you've got the apartment to yourself. Don't burn it down please. We don't need another visit by the fire department." Minho screamed through the house. He's a bit over protective sometimes acting like a parent but its nice to have some one there who cares somewhat even if they don't know exactly what's wrong. See all Minho knows is that I was kicked out, which couldn't be further from the truth. I ran, I was and still am hiding from my family and my past. Apparently I'm doing a worse job of it than I though because my parents are back in town.

"It was one time hyung. I only blew up the microwave it's not that big of a deal." I shout back "Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Tell Ji I said hi."

Not feeling that hungry at the moment I threw myself onto my bed getting out my phone opening Instagram and scrolling through the feed until some thing caught my eye. It has been a while since the person has popped up on my feed. The photo was different from the pastel and the bright colours of his previous posts of him and his friends but then with the drastic change in style since he came back from Australia it was kind of to be expected.

**._Aussielix_.**

**Liked by Crispy.97 and others**

**._Aussielix_.** It's been a while. I just wanted to post to say thank you, you know who you are😺

view all comments

 **Crispy.97** My cousin was blessed with the visuals

 **>._Aussielix_.** Ikr I don't have noodle hair either 😂

 **puppyminnie** my bestie be slaying

 **leeknow_** hope your okay 

**>._Aussielix_.** im fine hyung dw

 **_bbysunggie_** your hair looks great i think i should dye mine 

**>._Aussielix_. **do it coward... go orange

I have to admit I was debating for a while whether to comment or not. I was going to but it would kind of ruin the whole plan to keep flying under the radar keeping as little amount of people close as possible.

By the time I had finished cooking and eating I felt guilty. Felix had gone to the effort of posting to say thank you and I felt like an asshole for not even saying it was okay. I decided to text him instead not that that would be any better than commenting on his post but that way there would be no way of anyone finding out I had messaged him, I could still keep as him safe as possible. 

**Spearb_**

Hey Felix its Changbin 

About earlier its fine dw 

If you ever need to talk about anything you can talk to me

**._Aussielix_.**

Thanks hyung 

You can talk to me too you know 

You dont have to but I can tell your trying to hide something

**Spearb_**

Ill think about it Felix 

Thanks

**._Aussielix_.**

Np 

See you at school

I had no real intention of choosing to talk to Felix but something about the fact he knew something was wrong without me having to say anything was comforting. It gave me a weird feeling. I brushed it aside thinking it was just because it was the first time someone had cared enough to say anything without prompt. Maybe it wasn't but I didn't want to believe that just yet.


	6. we be back

** Felix POV **

It's been three days since the breakdown I had in the bathroom. In all honesty I wasn't expecting anything from Changbin in reply to my post, I've sat next to him for nearly a year and him calming me down was the longest conversation we have ever had. I knew that Chan had asked him to look out for me this week I wasn't stupid. I doubt if Chan hadn't asked he wouldn't have cared enough to come check on me. It was nice of him to message me and tell me I could talk to him if I wanted though. I had been speaking to Seungmin about what had happened in Australia but I always felt, although he is my best friend, I was intruding on him and Hyunjin. 

Chan knew about what happened for the most part as well, but he was always working on music for 3racha, I didn't really feel I could talk to him. I think I need someone else to know who will be there for me but I'm not sure Changbin would be completely comfortable knowing the whole story and I know there's something going on with him he hasn't told anyone about. You can see it in his eyes and the way he treats people like he is trying to force them away. If you look close every time he does this though he looks hurt. 

Theres something about him I just can't place my finger on. He made me feel safe that day and when he messaged me I was really happy. Happier than I have been in a while anyway. 

-<3-

**h.jinnie**

****

**Liked by ._Aussielix_. and others**

**h.jinnie** Guess who's back from America 

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**babyIn._** Yessss seungmin's back 

** >h.jinnie** Im your brother u haven't seen me in a month and all u care about is my boyfriend. I hate you.

** >babyIn._ **unless u brought me presents idc. love u too

**._Aussielix_.** why r u 2 so cute? also Minnie need to talk to u its important 

** >puppyminnie **talk tomorrow lix meet at the cafe by school

** >h.jinnie** does no one care I'm back :,(

** >crispy97 **Jinnie you know we love u but can u stop being so dramatic we're all happy ur back


	7. you had a crush on him

**Changbin's POV**

"Hyung, I get that you don't want to let anyone else in after what happened but you have to let go of it at some point. They haven't tried to contact you the whole time they've been here maybe they don't care anymore." Jisung said spinning to face me. We were in Chan's basement which over the summer had been converted into a recording studio. Somehow Sung had heard about what had happened in the bathroom with Felix at school and was now trying to convince me to talk to him.

"Sung, you know I can't talk to anyone yet. My parent may not have tried to contact me while they've been here but the last time I spoke to them they tried to marry me off to some guy from Australia to expand their business. You know what goes on behind the scenes in that family I don't want any attention on me or they'll force me to come back and run the company." I told him getting slightly angry, we'd had a similar conversation before when Felix first moved here. Jisung had caught me staring at the once bubbly boy. It had led to me telling him about my past in full. He was the only one who knew everything.

The next time I slipped up was after Felix went home to Australia for the summer. Chan had asked if we could keep an eye on Felix when he got back, I had just heard the news that day that my parents where coming into town for a while and because of that was already agitated. I snapped at him by accident telling him I had already risked enough being friends with him, Minho and Jisung, saying I couldn't let anyone else in. That led to me telling him about why I had run away not about the whole story. As far as he knew my parents had tried to marry me off and I didn't want that so I ran.

"I know that hyung," Jisung said brining me back out of my thoughts "but think about it this way. You getting closer to Felix isn't about you letting some one in. He needs some one just as much as you. I don't know what happened over the summer but you and I both know that the Felix we've seen the past few weeks is not the Felix that we know, and no matter how much you deny it, you liked. He seems broken like he needs a friend, you could too, me, Minho and Chan are not always going to be here for you. I know what happened with your parents has scared you and you've put these walls up but you can't stay that way forever it will ruin your life."

What Jisung said made sense. I knew he was right. It had been hard to find someone when I broke more recently Ji and Minho where always together and Chan was busy with work. I knew what he said about Felix was true as well all of it, something had changed when he came back from his parents house, if I was honest the new look Felix adopted suited him but I missed the bubbly personality and bright colours and how he use to constantly try and talk to me even when I pushed him away. I missed him. 

Fuck I missed him. 

I hadn't let him in over the time he's been here but somehow I still missed him.

"Fine, I'll talk to him but no promises about letting him in completely" I said finally giving in to his nagging.

-<3-

It was later in the afternoon when was scrolling through Instagram bored when I thought back to the promise I had made with Ji earlier. Now was better than never to try and contact him. I decided I would post something first just to check if he was online then if he ignored my message I knew he didn't want to talk to me.

**Spearb._**

****

**Liked by _bbysungie_ and others**

**Spearb._** okay but I'm hot

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**_bbysungie_** you wish u were hot u mean

** >Spearb._** shut it squirrel u aint any better

** >leeknow_** he is far better looking that u pizza face leave him be :)

** >Spearb._** I feel personally attacked right now

**Crispy97_** I want my photo credits 

**_.Aussielix_.** cute not hot

**Felix POV**

_(earlier in the morning) italics is English_

Seungmin was back today and had promised we would meet up. If I was being honest I needed someone to talk to about why I had the break down and although Chan knew most of the reason I didn't want to bother or make him feel he had to protect me.

After getting dressed into a black hoodie and some ripped jeans I headed towards the cafe we were supposed to be meeting at. There were times when I missed my old clothes the bright colours were comfortable and made me feel confident, I had to change it though the black helped me feel safer it kept eyes off of me helped me to disappear.

Arriving at the cafe, I went to the counter seeing Minho behind it working. "Hey lix. Let me guess, we've just had the autumn drinks put onto the menu so I'm going to guess you want a pumpkin latte with cream." It was odd the fact Minho knew my order, I rarely come here anymore I try to stay inside as much as I could and we had only become friend before the summer when him and Ji got closer. "Yeah hyung, thanks." I said slipping the money across the counter before turning to go and wait at a table for the coffee.

"Wait, Felix. I know we're not that close but if you need anything or anyone to talk to ever let me know okay" he said before turning to serve the next customer.I smiled at him slightly before retreating to the corner table.

By the time Seungmin arrived I was already half done with my coffee. I knew he hadn't meant to be late by how panicked he looked. "I am so sorry I'm late lix. I woke up like 20 minutes ago I'm a bit jet lagged." He said frowning.

"Its fine Minnie. _Do you mind if we talk in English though I don't really want Minho to understand what we're talking about and he keeps coming over here to check I'm okay."_ I said, waiting for seungmin to full understand what I had said.

_"Thats okay._ _What's wrong you sounded really panicked yesterday."_

_"I had a flash back at school to the summer with my parents. It was just after I had told them that I am gay, when they went apeshit and started blaming me for Jakes death. Changbin found me. It was really weird when ever it had happened at hope it takes nearly half an hour for Chan to calm me down but it only took ten minutes then he just kind of sat there talking to me to keep me calm. It made me feel oddly safe him hugging me and talking to me. Is that weird?."_ I said realising I had started rambling.

_"Its not a bad thing he made you feel safe if that's what you're trying to say. I mean you did have a crush on the guy for ages."_ Seungmin turned to me with a soft expression. _"I know what happened with you parents hurts. Have you told Chan what happened at school yet?"_

_"I didn't have to Changbin had already messaged him about it. He also messaged me that day as well replying to my post I think telling me that it was fine and if I wanted to talk to him I could."_

-<3-

The conversation went back and forth for about an hour and a half and was now led on my bed watching Netflix. Changbin had posted on Instagram about 10 minutes ago and something inside me made me feel like commenting. To be honest he looked cute and hot at the same time. I'm not entirely sure how that is possible but it is so I wasn't going to question it. Not half an hour into the episode of Itaewon Class I was watching I heard my phone vibrate the screen lighting up.

**Spearb._** Hey


	8. if I told you i'd probably die

**Felix POV**

**Spearb._** Hey

My heart leapt when I saw the message on my phone screen. I think the fact I had spoken about my past feelings for Changbin was the cause of that leap. It's not like I still liked him, I had gotten over him during the summer hadn't I.

**_.Aussielix._**

Hey 

what's up

**Spearb._**

I was wondering if maybe u wanted to hang out tomorrow 

u don't have to 

It was just a thought

**_.Aussielix._**

I don't know Changbin 

I mean we haven't really spoken properly before 

I don't completely trust u even though ur friends with Channie hyung

**Spearb._**

How about we get to know each other 

If ur still not comfortable then we don't have to meet

**_.Aussielix._**

Sure how about we play 20 questions

**Spearb._**

I'll ask first 

Whats ur favourite thing to do

**_.Aussielix._**

I mean I like to dance 

I'm in a team with Minho hyung and Hyunjin hyung 

I haven't really danced since last year though 

Whats ur worst school subject

**Spearb._**

u dance that's cool u gotta show me sometime 

For school subject honestly probably English 

its just really confusing 

Like -ough is pronounced a million different ways 

and gramma is just difficult 

Why don't u dance anymore

**_.Aussielix._**

I don't really wanna talk about it 

Its's a long story 

Im not comfortable telling u about it 

Sorry

**Spearb._**

Thats not a problem 

I get it 

there's things I don't wanna talk about either 

I gtg other wise chan hyung is going to kill me for not finishing my part in the new song

 **_.Aussielix._**

Np 

I'll think about tomorrow message u in the morning 

**Spearb._**

Ok np bye

**bbysungie_**

****

**Liked by Leeknow_ and others**

**bbysungie_** we be cute(side noteI look almost as emo as Changbin wishes he was)

_view all comments_

**leeknow_** we do be cute

 **Spearb._** LOOK I SAID THAT ONE TIME LEAVE ME ALONE

 ** >Spearb._ **also only time ill admit this but yes u do be cute

 ** >bbysungie_** u hear that the 'I love dark' seo changbin has admitted that something is cute 

**_.Aussielix._** u guys are adorable I want that :(

 ** >Crispy97** if someone wasn't so stubborn and admitted it to themselves u could have that and yes I am hinting at you mate 

** >h.jinnie** wait someone likes lix who

 ** >Crispy97** can't say I'm already being given death glares if I told u id probably die


	9. Minsung

**Minho's POV**

Me and Ji are hanging out again for the thousandth time this week. Normally we would just go to the cafe by school or go to the arcade after school. Today however was Friday and after the week at school neither of us could be bothered to go out so we were sat in my living room watching some horror movie on the tv. I had see it before so wasn't really paying much attention to the movie being more distracted by Ji's face which was fixed to the tv with a slight look of fear. 

To say I had feelings for him would be an understatement. I loved him more than anything. Our friendship was strange though and highly important to me. We were those friends the ones that flirt constantly as a joke and to be honest I think the rest of our friends were sick of it. I was at least because every single time we would flirt I knew it wasn't real and that what I felt was unlikely to be reciprocated.

"Hyung are u actually watching this?" Jisung said pulling me out of me thoughts. It was then that I realised that he knew I had been staring, I felt my face start to heat up, hiding it in my hands.

"Sorry Jisungie, I've watched it before. I didn't want to tell you because you were so excited to watch it together." I felt bad, we had promised we would watch it together while it was still in cinemas, neither of us had the guts to go and watch ing in a cinema because of how easily scared we were, so we though it would be best if we waited. However I had watched it a few weeks ago on family movie night with my parents even though I had told them I didn't want to watch it yet.

"Its fine, hyung. I'm sure my face is more interesting anyway" Ji said with a slight laugh at the fact I had been caught. 

When I turned back to say something in retaliation I realise he had moved and was now sat with less than 10 cm between our faces. I could feel his breath on my lips and it was distracting. Less than a second my eyes slipped from holding his gaze down to his lips and back. I had imagined him being this close before but now it was real I wasn't to sure how to react.

"Ji" I said my voice shaking slightly. "I'm going to do something now that's probably really stupid and is probably going to make you hate me an-"

I was cut off by his lips hitting mine softly. It felt so natural. Softly kissing him was like I had died and gone to heaven. My hand slowly made its way up to his hair playing with the strands on the nape of his neck. He pulled away slightly and it was like I was brought crashing back to reality.

"Hyung, you talk too much." he said before resting his head on my shoulder. "you have no idea how long I have wanted to do that." he continued nestling his head into my neck.

"I have an idea how long Jisungie," I replied turning my head to look at him. I knew one thing in that moment as I watched him nap on my shoulder, I was not going to give up the chance to have him easily.

<3

**leeknow_ created a group with crispy.97, Spearb_, h.jinnie, ._Aussielix_., babyIn and puppyminnie**

**leeknow_ named group MINSUNG**

**leeknow_**

i need your help im gonna ask Jisung out but i want all u guys to help me 

i know some of u aren't friends but all of u are ji's friends so i want you all involved 

pls

**crispy.97**

wait what happened

the last time we spoke about u two u said you weren't going to ask him 

cus u didn't think he liked u

**leeknow_**

2 things happened 

1\. i decided not to be so much of a pussy 

2\. we kissed and now he's asleep on my sofa


	10. I guess I trust you a bit

** Changbin's POV **

To be honest Minho's idea for how to ask Ji out was really cute and kinda cliché. All 6 of us involved had been pared off to help and sent to separate destinations where some of minsung's most important moments happened. The first group were Chan and Seungmin. They where at the school which was Ji and Min had first met about 6 years ago. They were put together because to quote Minho 'I don't want any of you in your couples cus you'll get distracted and fuck this up for me.'

Jinnie and Jeongin where at the next spot which was the arcade, this was the place they had hung out with out the rest of the group for the first time. I remember the day after that happened Ji was in the studio with me and Chan and wouldn't stop ranting about how Minho had won him this squirrel teddy because he though it looked like him. Needless to say we got no work done that day because Ji was so distracted.

The last pair was me and Felix. We where at Minho and I's apartment in the living room due to that being where their first kiss happened. Then after meeting us Ji would have to go to Han river to meet Minho. We were all under strict instruction not to fuck this up. Having all been given clues to give him as to where to go. 

We had decided to watch a film while we were waiting for Ji to get here. To say it was awkward would be an understatement. I really wanted to talk to him but he looked almost angry like he didn't want to be here. 

"What Min's doing for Ji is cute don't you think?" I said when I finally brought up the courage to talk to him.

"Yeah it is. Sung has been talking about Minho constantly since they kissed last week. I think that he though Min wasn't going to do anything about it."

It got awkward again after that. I just wanted to hold a conversation with him but felt like he was trying desperately to put me off. It was weird I had spent the least 2 years trying not get him to stop talking to me but now he wasn't talking I wanted him to. I'm not really sure how that made any sense but I wasn't going to except him not talking to me now.

"Look, I know you said you didn't want to meet up outside of school when I asked the other day but if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. You can trust me. I may not know what you're going through but I want to help. I know I didn't talk to you last year but I know that something is wrong and I'm not gonna lie, I miss your smile."

"I'll talk to you more, maybe, I don't know. The thing that happened isn't something you can really help with anymore. I don't want to talk to you about it yet either but I'd like if we could talk more. All my support blankets are slowly disappearing, I mean Chan's starting college and Seungmin's always with Hyunjin. I need someone to talk to and when I'm ready to talk I hope you can be that person. I guess I trust you a bit. If I'm going to talk to you though you've got to promise you'll talk to me too. Like I said you're not as good at hiding your shit as you like to think."

I nodded, agreeing that I'd talk to him, but before I could reply Ji walked into the room. 

"Urgh. What ever Min's planing better be good cus I'm tired I think I've walked further today than I have in my whole life" he complained.

I heard Felix giggle at Sung's attitude. It was the cutest sound ever.

"Last one mate don't worry. So here's your message from Minho. 'hey Sungie. I know you're probably tired of this by now and want to know what's going on and you'll find out soon I promise. This room is quite special to me as much as its kinda boring. I have a lot of my favourite memories with you in this room. My personal favourite happened not that long ago. Less than a week to be exact. After that happened we went on a walk somewhere just to talk. I'm there by the oak tree **(idk if there is one but)**. I'll see you soon baby.' Thats it that's all he said. I hope you got more from that than I did"

"Thanks guys. I'll see you later" Jisung said before running out the house.

"You were right earlier. This was really cute."

-<3-

**Spearb_**

****

iked by _.Aussielix._ and others

 **Spearb_** k so you're not that bad I suppose **_.Aussielix._**

_view comments_

**_.Aussielix._** not that bad mate im amazing just admit it

 **> Spearb_** no im not going to admit it

 **Crispy97** wait you finally spoke to him mate I thought you were just gonna both be awkwardly sat there waiting for Ji

 **> h.jinnie** same dude 


	11. I think its time I told you a bit about my past

**Felix POV**

It had been a few weeks since the plan to get minsung together. To be honest they we're adorable, the level of pda had increased by a million since though.

Changbin and I had been talking more and I kind of felt that maybe we were getting somewhere with him letting me in. He would still come over to Chan's purely to use the studio, but he would always say hi before disappearing downstairs. If he was having a good day there would be times where he'd let me come down and listen to something he'd written or a melody he was messing with. Wednesday had become a reserved day as well, being the only day both of us weren't busy, we would go out to the arcades, sit and watch films while eating way too much ice cream and chocolate for two people, sometimes we'd just sit in complete silence starring into space a comfortable silence basking in the air. There were still days where we wouldn't talk at all and he'd shut me out but until I knew what was wrong I wasn't going to push it.

Today had been one of those days, no matter what I or anyone else tried he just shut off completely. On days like this anything we had planned together normally got cancelled so when I found him waiting for me at the school exit I was kinda surprised. I knew better than to ask questions at this point because too many ended with an argument about him feeling pressured and me feeling shut out, we have forgiven each other with in a hour but it wasn't really worth it today.

We arrived at Minho and Changbin's, him having led the way here. Something seemed more off than normal I though as he unlocked the door. Normally he would hold himself tall and proud no matter the situation, personally I think it was a dominance thing he liked to make people fear him, now however his shoulders were slumped and he looked almost defeated.

Once the door was open and we were inside he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the sofa sitting me down and embracing me into a big hug. It wasn't unusual for him to hug me, but it was normally me who initiated the hug.

Hearing him sniff slightly and feeling my shirt start to get slightly damp I slowly wrapped my arms round him hugging him back running my fingers through his hair slightly, something that always calmed me down when I was crying, hoping to stop him from crying.

"Hey Binnie hyung" I said softly "whats wrong?"

Instead of a verbal reply I felt him shake his head slightly on my shoulder. Not wanting to push any further I just kept him in my arms until I heard soft snores coming from him signalling he had fallen asleep. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------<3-----------------------------------------------------------

When Binnie woke up again it was nearly 8pm, I had already messaged Chan saying I was going to be late home and was now sat wondering what had got hyung so upset in the first place. He looked so calm and peaceful at that moment I didn't want to wake him. I felt him started to stir and automatically looked away not wanting to have been caught staring at him, deciding on instead pulling out my phone opening instagram and trying to pretend that was what I had been doing for the past four hours. There was a post by a user I didn't recognise on my feed. Looking at the profile picture it seemed to be a girl around my age maybe a year younger, but that wasn't what had caught my attention. What had caught my attention was the familiar boy in the photo, with seemed to have been taken in one of our school dance studios.

**Seo.chaeyong**

****

liked by seo.inc and others

 **Seo.chaeyong** hope you enjoyed our chat today brother. take it into consideration we wouldn't want anyone to get hurt would we.

_view comments_

Was this what had gotten Changbin so upset? His little sister was back at school. Why would that upset him so much? Why was she threatening him, he hadn't done anything, right?

I knew he hadn't been kicked out and that he had run away. I had heard chan talking to him about it a few weeks ago.

"Felix. Whats that?" Changbin asked me rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"I don't really know hyung, it popped up on my feed. I think its a post from your sister. Why would she be threatening you though hyung?"

Before I could do anything to stop him he had taken the phone out of my hand.

"I think its time I told you a bit about my past lixxie."


	12. ill be there for you through everything

**Changbin POV**

“We were all sat at the dinner table when I was told. I had come out to my parents almost by accident nearly a year ago. When I say it was almost an accident I mean I had been talking about a crush I had on one of the boys in my year to my sister, they had walked in at the point where we were arguing about me coming out to every one else. In the middle of me shouting I just turned to my parents and screamed “I’m gay. Happy now Chaeyong you got what you wanted.”

My parents were very excepting, I suppose they had to be, from there line of work they met loads of different people.

My parents own a really well respected company on the front we looked like that amazing family, very experienced and well of parent of two very talented and at the time popular kids. If you looked behind the scene’s though, what my family actually ran was a drug business which I was in line to inherit and I hated it.”

I heard a small shocked gasp from beside me. Felix was still looking very confused but it was almost as if he’d been expecting something similar to what I was saying.

“Anyway, when we were sat at the table my father said he had some big news to announce. I already had a small idea of what the news was going to be as it was tradition in our family to marry of the oldest to continue the main business. I was expecting to end up being told I was going to marry one of the rich, snobby boys from my school. What I wasn’t expecting was to be told was that I was going to end up marrying an Australian boy in attempts to expand the drug business that ran behind the scenes. My plan had always been to take over the business as my family wanted but my plan was to stamp out the drug aspect, I wanted my family to be respected and trusted which meant that the lying had to stop.”

I paused for a second thinking back to that day, I hated remembering it and maybe that’s why I didn’t talk about it much.

“That had been the last time I had properly seen my family. It was the moment I knew there was no way I would be able to run the business as I wanted and that even when my family died they would still have complete control over me. That night I left the house around 3 and never came back. I’ve been staying with Woojin ever since. I kept in contact with my sister for a while until I found out my parents were hurting to try and get information as to where I was. I cut contact at that point not wanting anyone to get hurt. I stopped going to school, I stopped everything until they believed I was no longer in the city and left to try and find me. I’ve managed to keep quite a low profile since then and they hadn’t found be until the summer when for some reason they came back. They made no attempt to contact me while they were here so I assumed they just didn’t care anymore. Last week I got a message from Chaeyong asking to meet because she needed to tell me something. That leads us to today. I met Chaeyong in the dance studio, apparently my parents had figured out I’d never left the city and were looking for a weakness in me over the summer. Something they could take or threaten me with in attempt to make me come home. They hadn’t found anything until a couple of months ago when Chaeyong saw me follow you into the bathroom when you where crying. Supposedly she’s been following the both of us since to confirm her theory. They now believe they have enough evidence to believe you to be my weakness. Chaeyong threatened me on their behalf that if I don’t come home you would get hurt.”

I finally turned to look at Felix tears in my eyes I managed to choke out. “I don’t know what to do lix, part of me doesn’t want believe they would hurt you. The more logical part of me knows full well what they are capable of. This is why I didn’t want to be friends when you first moved here. I wanted to keep you safe and I don’t know if I can do that anymore.”

We both sat there in silence a Felix hugged me trying to help me calm down. After a while of comfortable silence he spoke up. “I’m not saying I’m not scared to Binnie, but it’s not just us two against them, everyone wants to keep you safe no matter how hard you try to push them away they will be here for you through everything. I will be here for you through everything, you just need to trust us enough to help you. When you’re ready they need to know too because I can guaranty they will help you.” 

**_.Aussielix._**

****

****

**_.Aussielix._** if I find out some one has made this boy cry again I will personally see to your bodies disposal you have been warned

**tagged Spearb_**

view comments

**Crispy97** I don't believe u'd hurt a fly lix but ill join u no questions asked

> **_.Aussielix._** im tough enough I have a black belt remember

**Spearb_** thank u bookie but I dont want u to get hurt

> **leeknow_** ill join u to lix but why can Changbin call u bookie but if one of us do it u'd rip our heads off

> **Spearb_** im special


	13. not yet

** Felix's POV **

It had been two days since Changbin had broken down crying about what happened with his family. I still couldn't believe it. I thought my family were bad, but they hadn't followed me here, not in person anyway. What he told me made sense though. I could finally understand why he had always been so closed off. It was his coping mechanism. In that way we were similar, feeling that if we pushed people away no-one would have to deal with our shit.

I felt some what comforted knowing he had trusted me enough to tell me and I had spent the last two days trying to persuade him to tell the others.

"Bookie, me not wanting to tell them what's going on doesn't mean I don't trust them. You don't feel comfortable telling me what's wrong with you, but you still trust me. Right?" 

Me and Changbin were having another conversation about him telling our friends what was going on. It's the first time he brought my thing into it though and at this point I was ready to say anything to get him to tell our friends because I was genuinely terrified of what his family would do to him if we couldn't find a way to stop them.

"Lets do it this way then. We both tell them what's going on with us at the same time. I need to tell someone soon or I'll probably break worse than last time, it doesn't have to be yet but the longer you leave it the more likely they are to actually get to you."

He was silent for a while after that. I was worried I had pushed it too far this time. I had pushed it too far once last week he had only just started speaking to me again.

"I mean we don't have to if your not-"

"I'll do it, but not yet." He finally spoke up, "How about we have a sleep over next weekend and tell them then. We both then have time to mentally prepare ourselves for it."

So that's what we agreed. 

I had a week. One week to prepare myself for something I wanted nothing more than to forget. One week before this summer came tumbling back. One week that was it.


	14. im sorry he said what

**Changbins POV**

It was finally the weekend and the boys had all agreed on a sleepover. We had agreed on going to Chan's as that's where we spent most of our time anyway. It's getting nearer and nearer to the time in which we had agreed to tell the boys both our stories and I could already feel the nervousness seeping off of Lix's body. I don't know what happened over the summer but what ever it was was defiantly distressing Felix. 

"Bookie" I whispered, drawing his attention away from the movie we where watching, "help me get more snacks? Jisung and Chan have eaten them all."

He got up and followed be into the kitchen. I turned to face him before realising just how close we were. Pulling him into a hug and again whispering into his ear. "Bookie, I don't know what happened this summer but you're shaking like a leaf. We don't have to tell them if its causing you this much distress, I don't want you to go through any more pain. Bookie, you don't have to do this."

"I know I don't hyung, but it's time some one other than Seungmin knows. I don't want anything to happen at school like it did a few weeks ago and know one know the reason or how to fix it." He paused for a minute taking a deep breath. "We both need to do this. It will be good for both of us." Another pause. I looked down at his face, he looked like he was debating something in his head. "Can we please just stay like this for a bit. You're warm and it's calming me down." He mumbled hiding his face into my chest.

"We can stay like this for a minute Lix, but the boys are going to start looking for us soon. We've been gone to get snacks for nearly 20 minutes."

As if they had hear me through 2 room Minho barged in followed by Jeongin. "I sear to god Changbin to takes 5 minutes to go get snacks you 2 better not be doing anything with the baby here."

Felix stiffened before quickly pushing me off of him. 

"We weren't doing anything hyung. Is the moving finished I need to talk to all of you now."

Finally we were all settled onto the sofa and the floor down stairs in the basement. 


	15. felix's story

**T/W Character death mention of self-harm and abuse if you don't feel comfortable with it I suggest clicking off I will put a * by the worst parts but the death its kind important to the story.**

**Felix POV**

I took a deep breath in, grabbing Changbin's hand for reassurance. I have to tell them. I cant keep bottling up my past or it'll catch up with me soon enough. 

"Guys we both have something to tell you. Im not sure if I can make it through everything today. To be honest I never wanted to tell you guys any of this. The thing is half of what's going on sounds crazy. It's an impossible thing. Seeing him again triggered something. I don't even know how I saw him. He's meant to be dead. He died 2 years ago." I felt my breath catch. This was all fucked up. Looking to wards Changbin for some kind of reassurance. 

"Take your time. We have as long as you need okay. None of us are going anywhere." he said in such a quiet soothing tone it was almost in audible. Something about it gave me the confidence to continue.

"I guess I should start with the reason I moved here in the first place. I had a twin brother. his names Jake. He was one of the sweetest people you would ever meet once you got to know him. He cared about his friends and family so much and would have done anything to protect all of us. We were really close or at least I thought we were. He played for the school football team back in Australia. He wasn't really in with the right crowd outside of football. All of the members although generally your typical jocks where relatively nice people. Jake didn't talk to them outside of training though. His best friend Xander, he was a year or so older than us, was one of those boys. The ones who got so drunk at parties they could barely remember their own name, when he wasn't partying he was taking and dealing drugs. I though Jake had enough sense not to partake in such stupid activities, but I remember just before I moved he had said that Xander had got into huge trouble money wise with the people he was selling drugs for. Apparently he had lost some of the drugs he was meant to be selling on more than one occasion. Jake said he was helping Xander pay it back by picking up extra jobs outside of school. That was a lie. He had started helping Xander deal. One night they were both at some college party. How they had got in I'm not to sure but both Xander and Jake ended up stoned and drunk."

I paused taking a breath. Feeling a small but noticeable squeeze of my hand as if reminding me that I could stop if I wanted.

"Xander was meant to drive home that night. I don't know what went through their heads when they though they were going to be okay to drive. They didn't even make it a street away from the party before Xander crashed the car into a tree. I was told by my parent that Jake died on impact. I never saw his body and I didn't even think to question it as Xander was defiantly dead and I didn't think my parents would lie to me. A couple days after the funeral I was eves dropping at my parents office door. I shouldn't have been doing it but I thought it was odd that the spent no time morning his death. I only heard snippets but what I heard was enough to make me want to get out of that house. They had said that my brothers death was his own fault and that he shouldn't have been helping Xander to pay money back to his own parents. That terrified me. Not that my parents dealt but that they had no remorse and though the best solution to a problem was killing my brother and his friend. I left and came here less than a week later telling my parents that couldn't stay there that there where too many memories."

 _You did it Felix your half way there you can do this_ I thought to myself. It wasn't to bad telling that part of the story but I knew the worst was yet to come. There's never going to be a easy way to tell this part.

***TRIGGER WARNING***

"Everything seemed to be fine while I was here, but I couldn't help but feel that in some ways my brothers death was partly my fault. I wasn't sure how it was okay that he had died and I hadn't. He was so string and such a lovely person. Everyone had always been so proud of him. I aways felt a bit jealous of him if I'm honest. He excelled in everything he did. I never understood why he died and I didn't I still don't. I could have stopped him that night or I could have called him before he would normally leave to come home or I could have just faced my parent after I found out they had him killed but instead I ran. I have aways felt guilty and weak for doing that. It wasn't long into me getting here that I started looking for ways to try and make myself feel lest at fault and less guilt for what I did. It started small. When everything was getting too much I would scratch away at my arm with my nail until it bled. It felt nice that stinging pain I'd get from a fresh scratch. That feeling of calm after a new scratch was left on my skin. It didn't take long until I started looking for other was to cause small injuries. one of the easies I found to conceal had been a maths compass. The point at the end mad the skin so much easier than my nail and no one questioned why I had one. In fact no one seemed to notice at all. to every one else a was this smily happy kid with bright colours and a weird personality. I didn't want people to think any thing was wrong with me."

I tasted salt on my lip at that moment. Bringing me back out of my own head. Making me realise that the others were staring at me with worry or pity. That was one look I didn't want, that look of pity, I hate that look. I felt a small pull on my arm Changbin trying to get my attention. I turned my face to him enough to see that he showed no pity for what had happened. There was genuine worry and understanding in his eyes as if what I was saying made sense to him as if he had finally found the missing pieces of a puzzle in his mind. 

I felt a hand on my cheek whipping away any stray tears that had fallen. Before being pulled into his chest. 

"You don't have to continue Felix. I know you want to let it out, but you are so strong to have gotten this far you don't have to go any further if you don't want to we can come back to it tomorrow. Don't push yourself." He whispered into my hair. He thought I was strong, he cared enough to make sure I knew there was no pressure. It made my heart flutter. I hadn't had someone care about be like this since Jake was still alive and he would sit and listen to me rant about how I was feeling that day. 

Even when I first told Seungmin this I hadn't felt so safe and cared for. In that moment I knew if Changbin was still there sat next to me holding my hand whispering words of reassurance I could do this.

"I can do this" I mumbled into his shirt "just don't let go of my hand okay"

"Wasn't planing to" he said back.

"I wanted to face my mum and dad over the summer this year. I felt I had finally built up the courage to fix things as much as I could for Jake. Help him rest in piece if you would." I continued, unwrapping myself for Changbin's embrace.

"Every thing was fine to start off with when I got back there. I thought it would have been a relatively simple conversation, but I knew better than to have it straight away. I was there for about a month and 3 days before I was scheduled to come home I went to confront them. It started out simple and calm. We talked more about what I had been doing while here. I slipped up in that conversation. I mentioned something I shouldn't have. My family although drug dealers are very catholic and I now for some people that dent effect anything and that will always support their kids. However I knew my family. They were quite homophobic and always had been. I never planed on telling them I was gay or that my friends where part of the LGBTQ+, because I knew it wouldn't end well. I don't even know how I managed to let it slip but I was talking about how Seungmin wouldn't have been there when I got back because he was in America with Hyunjin. they asked me who Hyunjin was and without even think I answered 'oh! he's Seungmin's boyfriend' they didn't take it well at all. There was a lot of screaming from them most of it I couldn't really make out because I was so scared of what was going to happen. I didn't want to leave with out having asked about Jake though. I really wish I hadn't. Neither mum or dad had ever raised a hand to me before I asked. That was all it took I asked one question and the shouting became them throwing things at me, condemning me to hell, blaming for Jake's death and then finally after the finished, throwing me out of the house."

I was full on sobbing by this point. Changbin didn't skip a beat before pulling back into his arms and this time not letting go.

"Wait that why you came home early. Felix you told me they had kicked you out not the rest of it." Chan said, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. 

Not even bothering to remove myself from Changbin's arms this time.

"That not all though. Chan I saw him when I got off of the plane home. He's alive Chan. He's here somewhere can. Jake in Seoul somewhere. I don't know where but I know for a fact it was him. He came and spoke to me Chan. Him and Xander staged the whole thing. He knew they where trying to kill him. He said he would be in touch. I saw him again on the first day back at school stood by the edge of the school building. It's scaring me. I don't know if he's still working with my parents or not. What if he is and he wants to kill me under their orders. What if-"

"That's not going to happen Felix. None of us would let that happen to you. I would die before I let anyone hurt you ever again Felix okay." Changbin said. he sounded so calm that it as scary but there was an underlying truth to his words almost if he meant to say something else but didn't finish his sentence.

"Changbin's right Felix." Ji spoke up. "We all love you too much to let any do anything including Jake."

A chorus of agreement followed before I suddenly felt that I couldn't breath. Like the weight of the whole world had fallen on my chest.

"We love you Felix." "Thank you for telling us" "We're always here for you" was all I could hear above me.

"I love you guys too" I giggled. "but I would greatly appreciate it if you got off I can't breath and I think you killed Binnie."

I knew from that moment I was going to be fine no matter what.


	16. 180° for 20 minutes

**Changbin POV**

"I love you guys too" Felix giggled. "but I would greatly appreciate it if you got off I can't breath and I think you killed Binnie."

His giggle was adorable and something I hadn't heard in a while even though we hung out everyday his laughs aways seemed slightly forced. This giggle was genuine and it made my heart flutter. The caring tone to his voice when he let out that the boys had probably killed me was sweet. He was almost back to hisself you could hear it. I just hoped it stayed that way.

When the rest of the group finally got off we decided to go to sleep and I would talk to them tomorrow. It was nearly 3 in the morning by that point. 

Chan was trying to sort out sleeping arrangements, but no one would stop talking. "Guy please be quiet, we've got a long day tomorrow if what Changbin has to say is anything near what Felix has just told us." Everyone went quiet, "Okay, we've got one spare room and a blow up mattress that we can bring down here. That means two of you are going to have to share on with me and one with Felix."

"Changbin is staying in my room" Felix spoke up from beside me. His tone was firm and I knew Chan was not going to be able to object. 

"Okay fine. Who wants the spare room."

We'll take down here if Jinnie and Seungmin want the spare room." Minho stated grabbing Ji's arm as if telling him not to say otherwise. 

"Wow... Who would have thought we'd see the day Min gave up a proper bed for Seungminnie." Hyunjin giggled. You could tell he wasn't serious. It was a running joke between all the group that min and Minnie didn't get along. 

"I will put you in the air fryer, Hyunjin. I'm not scared." Minho stared at Hyunjin with a serious expression on his face.

"Yeah I know 180° for 20 minutes. You say that all the time but you still haven't done it yet, wus," with that Hyunjin grabbed Seungmin's hand and ran out of the room knowing Minho would start trying to attack him if he didn't get out of there. 

"thank you Min" Seungmin yelled down the stairs.

"I guess that wet paper towels in the mouth aren't enough for him to learn to keep his mouth shut. I will fry him next time" Minho wasn't laughing he was as serious as ever.

That was all it took for everyone but Min to burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Aww, babe, it's okay I'm sure he's knows you mean it." Ji sputtered out through his laughter. Causing Minho too blush.

"I guess that means you're with me then Innie. Come on." Chan gestured to the door. "The blow up mattress is in the cupboard under the stairs okay. If you plan on staying up could you keep it down." With that he left.

Grabbing my arm Feels said "We're off to see you in the morning."

\-------------------------------------------<3-------------------------------------------

We settled in Felix's room sat on the bed. Felix looked like he was itching to say something whilst having a mental debate.

"Lix you okay?"

That was all it took for him to jump onto my lap snuggling his head into my neck.

"Thank you for being there with me today Binnie, I don't think I would have got through all of that without you there. So thank you."he mumbled breath softly hitting my neck causing my heart to go haywire. 

I didn't understand completely why he was thanking me. I gave him support when I knew he needed it that's just common decency right. It wasn't like I gave the support because seeing him start crying made my heart ache. That wasn't it at all. Any one of us would have done the same thing right. It wasn't because hearing what his parent had done to him made me want to kill them and what he thought of himself make me want to hold him forever and be there to remind him just how perfect he was. That wasn't the reason at all.

"You don't have to thank me Bookie. I just didn't want to see you cry. I am so proud of you okay. Do you know that. So proud. What you went through couldn't have been easy. Reliving that must have been the worst thing possible for you. Like I saying down stairs I love you okay, I just want to be here to help protect you."

I didn't even realise I said it until Lix lifted his head out of my chest. 

"You love me?" he asked looking into my eyes as if trying to find any clue that I was lying. When he found none his eyes slipped slightly as if examining my face, trying to remember everything. His tiny fingers delicately tracing the faint scar on my chin.

"More than anything. I always have. I didn't want you to get to close though. I didn't want my family to find you. I guess that's kind of too late now as they know you exist and they know your my weakness. If anything ever happened to you because of them I would never forgive myself."

He stayed silent eyes still observing my face.

"I understand if you don't feel the same. I won't say it won't hurt but I will let you go okay don't force yourself. I'll be here."

He looked up again at that point eyes not leaving mine. He leaned forward slightly stopping when our noses touch as if looking for a sign of objection. 

"I may not alway be there for you to lean on but I do love you to Changbin." he whispered against my lips before finally connecting them.

There was no rush behind the kiss. It was soft and slow as if we had all theme in the world. All the feeling neither of us could express into words conveyed through one small action. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest.

We finally had to pull away for air. Felix buried his head back into my shoulder trying to hide the slight blush on his cheeks.

Something about that made me melt. I had made him embarrassed with out doing anything. It made me feel kind proud. This baby needs protecting at all costs.


	17. 'Felix was all blushy'

**Felix's POV**

I have never been one for waking up in the morning. Something about leaving the warmth of my bed was completely uninviting. 

This morning was even harder. Changbin's chest beneath my head and the steady flow of his breathing was relaxing. Even if I had wanted to get up I couldn't, his arm was wrapped so tightly round my waist if was like he was scared I would disappear. Instead I shifted slightly to face him my eyes retracing every inch of his face Taking in every small detail. The way his bottom lip formed a small pout as he slept. The way his eyelids fluttered as he stirred waking up slightly. 

His grip on waist loosened slightly as he started to wake up. His eyes opened catching me staring before I looked away. I felt my cheeks start to turn red lifting my hands up to cover my face. 

"Good morning bookie" he whispered even though we were the only ones in the room, his voice deeper and more raspy than normal.

"Morning, Binnie hyung." I muttered looking down

He grabbed my chin lifting my eyes to his level. "How are you feeling? Better?"

"Yeah I'm feeling a little better hyung, thanks"

He opened his mouth to say something but before he got the chance the door slammed open revealing Innie. 

"Awwww!!" he squealed "Thats so cute." referring to me still being wrapped in Changbin's arms.

"I know..." 

"What did you want? You must be here for a reason."

"Oh... Yeah... Sorry... um... Chan said breakfast is ready and if you don't hurry up him and Jisung will eat yours too." Jeongin said before scurrying out of the room back I assume to the kitchen.

"We better get up then, Binnie" I said trying to pull away.

"5 more minutes please" he whined. 

"Look Binnie as much as I am enjoying the cuddles do not for one second believe that you would ever be more important than food. I know Chan and he's not joking when he said he will eat our breakfast now get off"

"fine"

\--------------------------------------------------------------<3--------------------------------------------------------------

Loud chatter filled my ears as we arrived downstairs for breakfast. The smell of maple syrup and bacon making my mouth water.

"Morning" Chan spoke up over the conversations of the others "there's 4 pancakes left and some bacon and maple syrup, fight over it between yourselves."

That was on thing about having a sleep over with 8 other boys. No matter what or how much of everything you made for breakfast if you where the last up you weren't getting anything. 

"I have 2 you have 2 bookie" Changbin was dishing up the plates before I even got the change to make an objection.

"Sure" I muttered quiet.

"Guys, guess what I walked in to when I went to go wake up Changbin and Lix up this morning." Innie amount shouted above the groups already loud chatter.

A chorus of:

"What the hell did you do infant of the baby."

"if you have scared the baby I will see to your dead"

"Get it Changbin"

and

"please tell me nothing unholy happened" Followed by a "their both too shy for that"

Came from the boys, the threat of death taken quite seriously as it came from Chan who rarely threatened any one.

"It wasn't that. Guys they were hugging and Felix's head was buried in Changbin's chest. It looked like something straight out of a romance fiction. It was adorable and Felix got all flustered and blushy."

"Awwwww, did Binnie finally grow some balls?" Seungmin questioned. Followed by a quiet "fuck off" from the boy beside me.

\------------------------------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------------------------

Almost an hour later we were sat in the same positions as last night but this time with Binnie being the one about to talk.

"Before I start I just want to apologise for lying to you all..."


	18. Changbin's Story

**Changbin's POV**

To say I was nervous was an understatement. Only three people knew what had happened and even then not the full story. The shortened version with the fluff edges. The one with excepting parents that never found me when I ran. That was a lie and a story I wasn't ready to tell, but it needed to be done. These boys have been the first ones to stick around no matter what. The first ones to try and break the walls down.

"Before I start I just want to apologise for lying to you all..." I started before explaining everything the same way as I had to Felix. I know at some point I'm going to have to tell them the last part of the story but today was just not that day.

"Wait is that was why you turned up at my house that day then why where you covered in bruises. Nothing you just said explained why you would have bruises." Minho asked. That stumped me. How the fuck does he remember the fact I was bruised. I couldn't tell them the truth, they'd realise how much danger they where in and leave.

"Ummm... I fell off the wall at the back of my old house?" I lied the tone more of a question than a solid answer. Minho raised his eyebrow confused and goes to speak however Chris cuts him off.

"Look binnie i- we all know that you struggle putting down the wall you have created and have not let anyone in, we are all here even if its something that you deem little information, we will all listen when you need us. Okay?" Chris smiled. 

I take a deep breath and calmed my nerves, I can tell that Lix is looking at me, trying to get my attention, most likely to reassure me that I should just let it out. But I can't it is too dangerous for them, I can't even tell Lix because I don't want to hurt him more than he already has been. But they are like my brothers, besides Lix of course, and aren't you supposed to share most things with your family? Ugh. I need to tell them. I can't. But I have too. Why is this so hard? I have kept it in for a long time, and thats a lot of information to keep to myself when it could be putting so many other people in danger.

"Look, I didn't want to tell you everything because it puts you in more danger than you guys are in by just being friends with me." I pause. I have to get through this. Maybe if they all know no-one will get hurt. 

Who am I kidding what's 8 teenagers against an entire company of people.

"Firstly, a lot of people inside the main company know about the drug business my parents run. They are trained to help my parents if ever they need it. All of them are merciless and trained to kill with out a second thought. They don't care how old you are or what you've done. If my parents want you dead you will end up dead. That was the main reason I didn't want to be friends with you guys after I ran. If they found me and they have found me, they would kill each one of you until I come home." 

Explaining this felt like a punch to the stomach and a weight lifted all at once. The punch to the stomach because saying this out loud admitted it to be real. It made the fact all of them were at risk more real, like it had just jinxed it. The weight of my shoulders came from the look of realisation and understanding on the boys faces. It was like everything suddenly clicked into place for them. Everything finally made sense.

"The other thing is that I think I know who the person I was engaged too is. I wasn't told much at the time just where they where from and that their parents were in the business. I didn't really care to find out much more. When Chaeyong came to see me the other day though she said something that confused me. She said it was a shame that I left, because its a horrible ordeal to put family against family and that the person I had been set to marry didn't seem to be the type to want to hurt his own family. I didn't get it at the time but something about what Felix said yesterday clicked in my head. There is no way Jake would have been able to stay completely hidden from Felix's parents. If he even tried he'd be in the same position I am now the second they got the smallest hint that he was alive. The only way to stay under the radar completely is to have connections. If he had gone to my parents and explained the situation the would have done one of two things, tell his parents he was alive and send him back or they would have helped him stay hidden and although my parents are assholes they wouldn't allow some kid to be killed because of a friends stupid mistake."

Explaining that felt weird and the complete look of disappointment on Felix's face made me regret saying anything. You could see the slight glitter of tears in his eyes and I knew if we didn't stop this conversation soon it wouldn't be long before a steady stream of tears fell down his cheeks.

"Look I can't know for sure but I do now if some-ones in the way they won't be for long and my parents aren't the type to get their hands dirty. In their opinion Felix is in the way so they would plan to get rid off him in the most painful way possible. For him that would be through his family. That means if Jake is here he's here for a reason. And if we don't keep him safe Felix will find out that reason very quickly."

Everyone seemed stunned into silence. The quiet was deafening. It felt suffocating. Every single pair of eyes either trained on me or trying to ignore the fact I even existed. 

"I understand if you guy's don't want to be friends anymore you need to keep yourselves safe and being friends with me won't help that. I didn't want anyone to get hurt that's why I didn't tell you. I understand if it all too much." 

I paused waiting for anything, any sign that what I had just revealed didn't change anything. That it didn't matter that they were in danger. That they would stick by my side just like Felix had said. But there was nothing. No one was even looking in my direction anymore.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I-I'll leave now." The words were catching in my throat. If I didn't get out of there now I was going to start crying. "I guess I'll see you all at school. Again I'm sorry."


	19. 'everyone has their skeletons'

** No one's POV **

It had been nearly a month since the boys had let Changbin walk out. The only person who spoke to him in that month was Minho. Being the boys room mate it was hard to avoid him so it wasn't long until the two started talking again. It wasn't like the boys would talk anywhere but their apartment though. Everyone else was still pissed at Changbin for keeping it a secret for so long. 

Even Felix refused to talk to him. In fact Felix refused to speak to anyone and that made him, in Changbin's eyes an easy target for his parents. So even though they wouldn't talk he would make sure everyday that Lix got home safe and that nothing had happened to him the next morning. 

Not that Felix knew that. Felix thought Changbin had gone back to exactly how he was when Felix first got there cold and distant. He heard about the fights that Changbin got into.He heard the worried word of Minho everyday when he explained that yet again that night Changbin had come home gone to his room and hidden not eating anything. He ignored every plea from Minho for him to talk to Changbin. He ignored everything the group said to him about anything in fact.

For Felix the last month had been hard and although he wanted nothing more than to talk to Changbin every time he convinced himself it was a good idea there was that voice in the back of his head. The one that reminded him that instead of telling Felix that night when he realised Jake was his fiancé, he had kissed him, lead him into this false sense of security before making sure to bring it all crashing down blowing every last thread of trust he had for the boy out of the water. 

Felix didn't know that Changbin had been getting multiple threats a week to come home before something happened.

Changbin didn't know that Felix had started building his strength up just in case he was still in danger. 

All in all in less than a month the had gone from knowing almost everything about each other to knowing nothing at all.

** Minho POV **

This is getting ridiculous now. I though that by now at least Hyunjin and Seungmin would have realised shutting someone out does nothing to help the situation. Everyone ignoring him isn't going to make the situation any better. I think to be honest every one knows that they just don't want to upset anyone. Me filling everyone in on him everyday isn't helping either. I can see the worried looks that cross their faces before their don't care attitudes creep back up. They're all ready to talk to him I can tell that. Now we're all just waiting for Felix. 

You can tell that this has hurt him the most and I don't blame him, him as Changbin where the closest out of all of us. I don't know what was happening between them, but it was obvious to anyone who looked at them that they liked each other. I can't even begin to imagine how he's feeling now that he knows Changbin was engaged to his brother. I just hope that it doesn't spoil everything. Felix looks fine but if you look close enough you can see the dark circles under his eyes and the paleness of his skin indicating a lack of sleep. Chan also said he's started getting panic attacks again and nothing he does helps. 

I'm getting more and more worried about Changbin as well. Even before all of this he only spoke to a few people but I know that Ji and Chan were the closest thing to family for him. For him it must seem like he's lost his family for the second time. I can sympathise with him in that respect. I moved out not long before Changbin ran away. Not by choice either. My whole family hate me. I guess that's what happens when you have a gay kid. Some parents can't see past that label and see you're still the same person.

\--------------------------------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone except Felix and Changbin were sat in Ji's living room, per my request, looking kinda sheepish. It had been another two weeks and I was finally sick of it. We had to do something to get those two talking again.

"Look guy's I understand that what Changbin did wasn't cool. You shouldn't keep things like that a secret, but just for a second put yourself in his shoes. He's already lost one set of family due to what happened. You guys were the closest thing to family he had, especially you two," I said pointing at Chan and Jisung. "I'm not going to say I now exactly what it feels like, but if you loose your family once when you finally find a new one you cling to it with everything you have. You hide everything from them that you think could possibly tear them away from you again. He didn't want to lose you. That's why he said nothing to you. I don't understand why you guys can't see that. It's not like you guys are perfect. Everyone has their skeletons. Their things they want no-one to know and some are going to be worse than others. Him deciding not to tell us means nothing. He just cared. He's broken and the fact you guys have left him has made him worse. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but he's not eating properly, he's coming home late covered in bruises, when he is home he's hidden away in his room. I'm worried about him." I looked around the room to see them all finding the floor very interesting.

"Hyunjin, you have to understand this more than anyone right. I mean you learnt we learnt a whole other language just so we could try and feel more included. You almost fucking left. Changbin's not running and as much as you guys probably have hurt him, Felix included, he is still making sure each one of you is safe."

"Wait what do you mean? How is he making sure we are all safe?" Jeongin piped up from beside me.

"I didn't tell you this okay, but the people he's been getting into fights with are the ones that have been trying to get to you guys. He's been keeping a really close eye on Felix especially making sure-"


	20. 'I'll see you tomorrow'

**Felix POV**

It's been a month since I have spoken to Changbin. I still couldn't understand why he hadn't told me about Jake the minute he figured it out. I know we may not have been friends for as long as he was with the other guys but I thought we were closer than that. He had tried to talk to me the day after he left but I ignored him. I think he'd got the hint because he didn't try after that.

It had been a month and I knew he was still there in the background. I had seen him multiple times when he had followed me home. I would run up to my window the minute I got into the house just to see him retreating around the corner. I thought it was weird at first. Why the fuck would he be following me home, was I really in that much danger. It got to a point where I realised that doing this probably gave him peace of mind that I was safe and in a way it made me feel safe too.

Today was different though. Today Ji had invited everyone except me round to talk. I knew they were probably going to talk about what had gone on the last month and Chan had promised to take us all out for ice cream tomorrow, so it didn't really bother me too much.

By lunch I had decided that if they were all going to Jisung's I was going to go to the library and study so that when I got home Chan was there and I wasn't by myself. I knew Minho had told Changbin. I knew Changbin was going to be there the whole time I just chose not to mention it.

The final bell finally rang after an hour of English, Jinnie and I made our way to meet the others at the gate. It had become a sort of ritual for all of us to meet at the gate at the end of the day and wait for Chan to finish the walk from college to us, especially if we were all going to someones house.

It was odd doing this now though. There always felt like there was something missing and it was getting increasingly hard to ignore the voice in the back of my head that said that it was Changbin, I knew it was him, we just didn't feel like a complete group anymore. Was I ready to talk to him yet? No. Was it going to get to a point where I had no choice soon? Most likely.

"Felix, are you sure you want to stay here? I can always walk you home and then go to ji's from there." That's one reason I was grateful for Jeongin in this situation. Although he was the youngest of all of us, he seemed to be the most understanding in this situations. I didn't even have to say anything for him to understand what was going on in my head, he was never pushy about me talking to him or anyone for that matter, always saying that he would be here whenever I was ready to talk.

"No, Innie it's fine. I'vegot homework to catch up on anyway. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that everyone started heading away from school and I started back towards the library.

It was only a short walk. Less than three minutes. I could still feel eyes on me the entire way. At first I brushed it off as just Changbin, but when he followed me home it he never stared at me. I could never feel is eyes on my back. Something about the gaze was unnerving. It was like the eyes where everywhere not in just one place but coming from every direction.

I immediately reached for my phone remembering what Changbin had said on the day we forced him to walk away. 'If at any moment you feel unsafe, or if you ever need anything just call.' 

Everything seemed to move in slow motion at that point. Everything blurring together. The cloth over my mouth, my phone hitting the floor before I could hit the call button, the feeling of all the air leaving my lungs, the struggle as I tried desperately to get out of the persons grip, the black splotches covering my vision and that one final though as everything disappeared away from beneath my feet.

Find me Changbin please. I'm sorry. Save me.


	21. 'what the fuck is happening'

_"I didn't tell you this okay, but the people he's been getting into fights with are the ones that have been trying to get to you guys. He's been keeping a really close eye on Felix especially making sure-"_

**Changbin's POV**

Felix had stayed after school that day. Chan and the rest where going to Jisungs's as I had been informed by text at lunch. So here I was yet again waiting behind a shelf in the library just before the bell that signalled the end of school trying my best to look like I was meant to be there and that I wasn't just there to make sure Felix was safe.

The bell rang and the usual chatter of students filled the halls in-front of the library, all I had to do now was wait for the text from Minho to say that they had left Felix at the gate and that he was making his way here.

Five minutes came and went and my phone buzzed in my pocket.

**Minho**

K hes on his was to you now

**Changbin**

Thanks hyung

See you when I get home.

Minho was the only one of the group who was still talking to me and I was grateful to him for that. When he got home on the night I had told everyone he was angry sure but we sat for an hour while I explained my reasonings for not telling anyone. He surprisingly agreed with my reasoning and gave me a hug, which was an incredibly rare thing for him unless your name was Han Jisung.

It had been almost ten minutes now and he was still not here. Why was he not here? It takes less than three minutes to walk from the gates to the library. Where the fuck is he?

I waited another ten minutes and one last look around the library looking for the blond haired boy. Seeing that he wasn't present I started to panic. Where the hell could he have gone when walking from the gates to here. It's a straight fucking line how the fuck could he have got lost? **(A/N idk Changbin but my dyslexic ass can't make it the rote from school with out getting lost so...)**

I ran out the front of the school hoping that maybe he had just decided to study outside today, but when I got there I found nothing. No sign that anyone had ever been there in the first place. Something felt wrong. Something is wrong. It was to clean here, to quiet.

Trying to calm myself down I tried convince myself that maybe he had just decided that he didn't want to go to the library today and just gone home. So that's where I went, almost sprinting to Felix and Chan's house in hopes I'd find hime there.

The lights at the house were all off when I got there, but he could be in the basement or asleep. Not all the lights are visible from the front.

I knew trying to convince myself of those things was futile. I knew Felix never went into the basement without me or Chan and I had never heard of him sleeping before two in the morning either because he was always playing video games. Also the door was still locked, no matter how many times me or chan suggested it would be a good idea for Felix to lock the door when he was alone he never did.

Grabbing Chan's key from my pocket, he still hadn't asked for it back, I unlocked the door. The whole house was silent. Everything was still in place and Felix's converse were missing from the shoe rack.

He hadn't come home.

I tried calling his phone in that moment knowing full well even if he was okay he wasn't going to answer. He didn't want to talk to me.

No answer.

Where the fuck are you Felix?

The only thing I could do now was head to Jisungs and hope one of the boys could get hold of Felix.

\-------------------------------------------------------------<3-------------------------------------------------------------

Slamming open Jisung's door. Everyone eyes trained on me as Minho stoped talking.

"What are you doing here?" Chan was the first to speak.

"One of you either need to call Felix or give me your phone so I can do it." I almost shouted.

Everyone just looked at me bewildered. "NOW!" I was shouting this time.

"I'll call him" Seungmin muttered pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Did anyone see Felix actually enter the school building when you left earlier?" I asked aiming the question mainly at Jisung and Minho.

"We saw him turn and walk that way. Why? What's going on?"

"Seriously after everything I told you guys a month ago. Did you seriously think not talking to me would keep you safe. For fucks sake why didn't one of you make sure he got to the building. Minho I told you I was still getting messages and threats why would you leave him?"

"Changbin what the fuck is happening Felix isn't answering his phone." Seungmin came back into the room.

"Look I know you guys don't like me very much at the moment but you guys, Felix especially are still targets to my parents, so I've been keeping an eye on him making sure he stays as safe as possible. Felix told you guys he was going to the library today after school, so Minho told me so I Knew where to look for him. He didn't show up. He's not at his house. I thought maybe he didn't answer his phone because it was me that was calling. He's gone. Felix is gone.”


	22. 'its the best idea we have at the moment'

**Chan POV**

"Look I know you guys don't like me very much at the moment but you guys, Felix especially, are still targets to my parents, so I've been keeping an eye on him making sure he stays as safe as possible. Felix told you guys he was going to the library today after school, so Minho told me so I Knew where to look for him. He didn't show up. He's not at his house. I thought maybe he didn't answer his phone because it was me that was calling. He's gone. Felix is gone."

It felt like the whole world had been swept out from under my feet at that point. We started avoiding Changbin to keep everyone safe and we didn't even succeed in that. Something about the whole situation didn't sit right with me from the beginning. Me and Ji already knew everything except the Jake thing so why the hell were we making a big deal out of it. To a point I knew my answer was purely because Felix is my cousin, its my job to protect him. I promised him that much when he got home after the summer. I promised him that and I failed.

"Where could he have possibly gone, Changbin. Seriously, you were keeping an eye on him right why didn't you watch him to make sure he arrived at the school building." Hyunjin questioned.

"I get that and it's my fault for not keeping a close enough eye on him at that moment, but I didn't want to make it too obvious. Both him and you guys have shown enough times recently you want nothing to do with me, which I can completely understand. Right now however is not the time to be having this conversation. We need to find Felix. Can anyone think of anything that can help us. Anything at all. It can be something small any type of idea."

It was obvious Changbin was distressed. He looked completely terrified. I could see the fear in hiseyes as he though of all the possible outcomes of this situation.

"Changbin you need to stay calm. What was the last threat you got from your parents?" I tried to stay as level headed as possible knowing that panicking was only going to make the situation worse.

"The last time they messaged me was three days ago. Something along the lines of 'times up, be ready' they've sent messages similar before though, a few weeks ago the sent one saying almost the exact same thing so I brushed it off, but upped the amount I was checking on Felix. But they've probably got him now and it's my fault. I should have stopped talking to him after that day in the bathroom. We wouldn't be in this mess if I had just followed my gut instinct and left him alone. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

At that point Changbin's legs seemed to give up underneath him and heart wrenching sobs broke from him.

"Changbin, it's okay. It's not your fault. You were trying everything to keep him safe. It's not your fault. We all should have listened to you that day. We shouldn't have let you leave you know that right.We're all really sorry Changbin. It's not your fault, we all are at fault." Minho had reacted immediately pulling Changbin over to him and Jisung both of them trying to calm him down.

"Changbin, can you think of anywhere they would have taken him or anyway we could find him?"

"I don't know. I mean I guess they probably have warehouses and stuff somewhere but I never got involved in that stuff so I'm not sure."

Seungmin's face lit up for a brief second as if he had, had an idea, it quickly faded to an anxious look though as he approached Changbin, who was still sat on the floor.

"Binnie, I think I have an idea as to how we can find him but I need you to think. Was Felix's phone in the courtyard at school.

"No that's why I though calling him would work. I mean I guess it could have been I wasn't really looking very hard. Why? What good would that do?"

"I just had an idea, something I learned last year with Felix. If his phone is with him we might be able to find him. I have a tracker on his phone. I know that sounds really creepy and weird be when he first got here he had a habit of getting lost and could never tell anyone exactly where he was so we designed this tracker thing that you can place on someones phone without them knowing. It was really helpful actually, he didn't get lost again that's for sure because I could always find exactly where he was. It will only help if he has his phone with him and it's turned on though if its lost charge or anything then we won't be able to-"

"Babe," Hyunjin placed a hand on Seungmin's shoulder "your rambling. We need you to try and get that to work okay what do you need."

"I need my laptop and about fifteen minutes to load the program, is that okay?"

"It's the best idea we have at the moment go home and try that and call us when you're done okay."


	23. 'I think I've found him'

**Seungmin's POV**

Less than a hour later everyone was gathered round my desk as I showed them where the tracker placed him.

"Okay it says he's here." I stated pointing at the marker on the screen. "Its not an exact location but its a start it gives us a mile radius to cover. It's quite a remote area as well so there won't be much to check. It looks like a field and a few buildings."

Everyone looked at the screen for a second or two before anyone spoke.

"Babe, could you print this off, we need to plan properly before we go in all guns blazing and I have an idea." Hyunjin spoke from the other side of my room.

Ten minutes later Hyunjin was drawing lines all over the map dividing the space into 5 sections and each of us where given a section. There was a large what looked like a building on one side of the field and we had decided to check that out last as a group. Everyone except Changbin had a pair having lost each round of Rock Paper Scissors to decide the groups.

"Okay everyone know where they're going yeah, Jeongin stick with your brother okay and if anything goes wrong you call me." Chan checked around the room. "Who ever finds Felix text 999 to the group chat and Hyunjin will call the police. You then need to make sure you get him away from anyone else and back to the car okay. We can't have this going wrong it could be the only chance we have of finding him."

We all agreed, except Changbin who was stood away from everyone else eyes on the floor.

"This is all great in theory but are you really expecting to walk into what could quite possibly be an armed situation and come out with anyone getting hurt with no protection, because if you are then you're all stupid."

“Well it's the best we've got unless you've got some bat cave somewhere, which I highly doubt, what do you suggest we can't exactly walk into a shop and buy guns or anything to protect ourselves, or maybe I have to remind you. None of us except Chan are adults yet. So what do you suggest Einstein." Jisung burst out. It was odd to finally hear him speak he hadn't said anything since we found out Felix was missing.

Changbin gave Jisung a quick glare before continuing what he was saying before.

"Look they want me to go home right. So what if that's exactly what I do. I go home, I know where the weapon store in the house is. Chan you know where the house is, if you drive your car to the back wall the same place I got out from and I'll give you some stuff. If I go home the chances are they are going to want me to prove that I will stay loyal to them. It will be maybe a day before they ask me to kill Felix to 'prove loyalty' or what ever the fuck you want to call it. The minute they do I'll contact you with the location. If you call the show up at the building and we get Felix the fuck out of there, okay."

Silence incased the room. I think we all knew he was right. We all knew this was going to be the only way to get Felix out of there alive.

"Fine we'll do that we know roughly where he is already so we can scope the place out tonight and you can go back to your parents in the morning." Minho was the first break the silence. "Also they're probably going to take your phone off of you. You're going to have to leave it here and have Chan give it to you when he comes and gets the stuff."

"Okay does everyone agree that's the plan, go tonight scope the place out and then we wait for Changbin's signal. Okay everyone got it?"

\------------------------------------------------<3------------------------------------------

An hour later we where all dressed in black and hiding by the main building that had been shown on the map. We were there for ages watching the guards pace back and forwards until a black SUV pulled up. Two people got out the car and Changbin immediately stiffened.

"Chan," his voice was steady but it had a slight growl to the tone, "take my phone. I'll see you tomorrow 3am don't be late."

With that he got up and walked towards the two people who were now talking to the guards.

"We're not leaving yet are we." Jeongin mumbled, as Changbin disappeared into the warehouse in-front of us, pulling Chan's sleeve, Chan's face, which had previously showed a level of confusion and anger, softened.

"No, baby we're not."Hyunjin's face changed to one of confusion and almost fury at the pet name almost forcing me to grab his hand before he exploded."I have a feeling Changbin hasn't stuck to the plan and is going to do something stupid"

Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something to Chan but before he got a chance the sound of a gun shot ran through the air causing Jeongin to scream.

"Fuck the plan." Han spoke up, "I'm calling the police we know where they are we should have done that the minute we found out he was missing."


	24. 'one wrong breath could ruin everything'

**Changbin's POV**

Seeing them exit the car and walk towards the building like they hadn't done anything wrong made something snap. Something that nearly snapped on the night I ran away. These people weren't my parents anymore, not after everything, they'd done and I couldn't let them control me anymore, let alone let them take Felix. Fuck the plan I'm getting him out of there now.

"Chan," I reached into my pocket to grab my phone before shoving it into his hands. "take my phone. I'll see you tomorrow 3am don't be late."

That was a lie and he knew it. I had made a deciton, all be it stupid, this is ending now. 

I got up from the crouched position where we were hiding in beside the warehouse, walking with as much confidence as possible to the man and woman stood by the front entrance. 

"Mother, Father," even addressing them as that left a bitter taste on my tongue. "I'm here like you wanted right. I showed up now hold your end of the deal and let him go."

They turned to face me, faces full of shock as if the didn't expect me to be here. My mothers face seemed to falter to a look of sympathy before resting into a harsh stare. My father was the first to speak.

"Now, now Changbin. You know the rules. You knew we were never going to let him go even if you did show up, if we let him go you'll leave again and your weakness will remain. We can't have you taking over the company like that can we." His face portrayed a smirk and I knew what the next sentence would be before it even came. 

The guard beside him stepped forward taking my hand and placing into it the cold metal of the barrel of a pistol I knew very well. It was the same pistol I had trained with when living at home. I had picked it out myself ant the age of 10. Rotating it in my hand so I was holding the grip, I looked up at my father with what I could only hope was a blank face.

"Your going to prove where your loyalties lie Changbin. To do that all you have to do is kill him. Don't worry everything is set in place so he won't be found dead." He almost seemed to be laughing in some sadistic way he was finding this funny. "You really were luck weren't you falling in love with a boy who's brother is almost a carbon copy of himself. Lucky or incredibly stupid you decide."

I had had enough by this point. I knew what he was doing. Taunting me. Seeing if I snapped and tried to kill him. Jokes on you father I have more control now I know not to lash out.

"Just take me to him," I tried to keep my tone as stable as possible knowing one wrong breath could ruin everything.

"Fine," my father breathed out obviously frustrated that he hadn't got the rise out of me that he wanted, "follow me and don't try anything otherwise I will make you watch us kill him and then kill you. I don't care if you're my son or not."

We traipsed towards the building in front of us. The inside was dimly lit with what looked like service lights, all bar one wall made of metal. To the right there was a staircase that seemed to travel upwards to an attic type room.

"Up there." My farther instructed pointing towards the staircase. "You have five minutes. If it's not done by then I will be up to do it myself."

"Yes, father." I mumbled. He seemed to be the only other person inside the building which I found odd. Why was there no security? Was my he really that stupid to think that I wouldn't try and fight back?

I move quietly into the attic type space not wanting startle Felix if he was up here. There was only one light in the room. No windows.

"Lixxie, are you up here?" my voice not reaching anything above a whisper incase the man downstairs heard.

"Binnie," there was a small shuffling sound from the back corner of the the room, "Binnie, you shouldn't be here. They said if you came that you would kill me. They said that would be the only reason you would show up. They said that was the reason you had been following me. Please Binnie I just wanna go home."

I could see him properly now, sat shaking in the corner of the room, staring up at me with big eyes, face red with tears. His right cheek had a faint bruise and his bottom lip had a small cut. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay. They where wrong, I'm not here to hurt you. I promise you. We're going to get you out just give me about 3 minutes. A man is going to come up the stairs and when he does I'm going to need you to be as quiet as possible. Okay?"

I had him wrapped in my arms, his head on my chest. His only response was a small nod into my chest. With that I slowly got up removing his hands from my shirt.

"I'll keep you as safe as possible, okay? I won't fail this time." 

I then took three steps backwards towards the door.

"I knew I couldn't trust you Changbin. You're too soft, you don't have a bone in your body to hurt anyone who you care about." He was yet again laughing, "Your times up by the way so who's first? You or Him?"

I started to panic then gripping the pistol in my hand as strongly as possible. Hoping that I would be able to react quickly. Waiting for the last second. Hoping too everything I could find some way out of here.

The light flickered slightly. 

The light. 

I have an idea. 

Raising the gun slightly I aimed it at the light and pulled the trigger.

Black. 

The room was plunged into total darkness.

"Felix run towards the staircase and out of the front I'll meet you out there okay. GO!"

I heard the sirens before I heard the second gunshot. This time not coming from my gun. Then I heard the scream. The sound made me feel like every single string in my heart snapped.

Felix.

Felix was shot. 

Everything around me started to slow down. The shouting of the police as they made their way through the warehouse. The glaring light of their torches in my eyes. Everything was just numb. 

I can't remember what happened next all I can remember is being guided into an ambulance with Felix and praying that he wasn't going to die.


	25. 'he was lucky'

**Changbin POV**

We had been here three days already. Doctors moving around Felix's bed checking monitors making sure everything was still okay.

"He was lucky." That was the first thing they said to me we got here. He was lucky that the bullet hadn't hit anything vital. He was lucky that the only issue was that he had lost so much blood. He was lucky. He was lucky. He was lucky.

How the fuck was he lucky. 

He was shot. He was shot because I thought for once I had protected some one and let my guard down. He was shot and that was my fault. He was fucking shot. How the fuck was that lucky. He's been lying in the same place for three day with wires coming out of his arms. How could anyone call this lucky.

I shouldn't even be allowed in this room with him. It's my fault it happened. They were right to stay away from me. Everyone I care for only ends up getting hurt in the end anyway. I knew when he woke up he would likely not want me here yet I couldn't bring myself to move. I'm not leaving his side again even if he asks me to. What if I left and something happened to him? What if I left and he woke up? What if I left and he took his last breath? What ever the out come the cause was my fault. Not his, not my fathers, not our friends for ignoring what I warned them of. Mine. I had been the one to befriend Felix, I had been the one to fall for him even though I knew it put him in danger, I had been the one that didn't stick to the plan. This was my fault so I was going to fix it.

"Changbin," the voice sounded distant "Changbin, snap out of it." Chan was shaking my shoulders.

"Dude, you need to snap out of it. He's safe and he's going to be fine." Minho appeared behind Chan's shoulder. "You on the other hand smell like shit. Go back to the apartment and have a shower and some food. You've not left that seat in three days which is kinda gross and you still have blood stains on your shirt. If Felix wakes up and see's that he's gonna be sick."

I knew he was only looking out for me but I was still hesitant. I really didn't want to leave Felix here. 

"If you're worried about Felix, don't. We'll call you if anything happens and make sure he knows that this is the first time you've left his side in three days. Now go, shower up, get some food in you and come back." Chan said forcing me out of the room. "Don't come back until that's done, okay?" He said slamming the door in my face.

\-------------------------------------------<3-------------------------------------

An hour later I was back outside Felix's room feeling refreshed, but slightly guilty. It was my fault he was in there. I shouldn't have left him by himself.

"Dude, are you going inside or are you just going to stand there?" Hyunjin popped up beside me nearly giving me a heart attack.

"Fucking hell Hyunjin, I could have died." He started laughing at me, "Yeah, I'm going in. I'm not sure Felix really would want me there though. I mean I kinda caused all this didn't I."

He stopped laughing and looked at me with this serious stare, "Listen, Binnie this wasn't your fault. Your family being completely psycho isn't your fault. You did a better job of getting him out of there than any of us would have and if he doesn't trust you after that then not only is he stupid, he's not worth your time. You did everything you could to keep him safe. This wasn't ever your fault and we should never have made you feel like it was."

He seemed slightly aggressive in getting his point across and to be honest I don't blame him, this was the forth time I'd been give this talk, once by Minho before the police took me in to do my statement, once by the police themselves and once by Chan. It didn't stop me feeling guilty even if they didn't blame me. It wasn't them the guilt was for so they couldn't make it go away.

"I want to thank you for what you did Changbin," a new voice sounded from behind us, "they had said if you hadn't shown up they would have made me kill him and I could never have lived with myself if that happened. I want to thank you for getting my brother out there safely."

Jake. Where the hell did he come from?

"What are you doing here Jake?"

He looked shocked to hear that I knew who he was. It took a while before he replied opening and closing his mouth like a fish, trying to find an excuse.

"I wanted to be here for my brother when he woke up. I wanted to apologies properly. I never should have disappeared like that. I just want to apologies, then me and Chaeyong will be out of your hair." 

"Chaeyong? What has my sister got to do with this besides be a manipulative bitch?"

By this point we were the only two people in the corridor Hyunjin having retreated into the room the minute Jake got here.

"Ummm... S-she's kinda my girlfriend?" He said taking three steps back as if ready to run at any moment.

"She's your girlfriend is she? So what exactly where you doing when your brother was captured besides getting a girlfriend? Oh I have an idea, were you in on the whole thing. Okay with it maybe?" I was getting more and more frustrated that he had showed up. I knew I could do nothing he had every right to be here as family more right to be here than me even, but with everything the timing for him showing up just seemed to convenient.

"Look, yes I knew what was going on. I knew that they were going to take Felix. I was there when they did, but I never helped. I didn't want him to get hurt. I've never wanted to hurt him."

"Never wanted to hurt him? Do I have to remind you of the fact you faked your own death? What about the fact you stood there and did nothing as your brother was abducted? And don't you dare try to tell me you couldn't have done anything. I know the inner workings of that place like the back of my hand. I was training to take over from the age of eleven. I know you arm everyone in those situations, only a hand gun, but armed none the less, you don't want any surprises you see. A job like that is kept to three people, no one else knows until the person is captive. So don't lie to me now. What are you really doing here Jake? My parents send you to finish the job? Or are you here to tell Felix how much you messed up, because although I blame myself for this you did much worse. So what is it? Why are you here?"

He went quiet for a minute, seemingly calculating something in his head. His eyes trained on the door behind me.

"You want to know why I'm really here do you Changbin," his face contorted into an all to familiar smirk, he started reaching behind his belt for something. "I am here for something in particular. You see, your parents weren't too happy with the fact you got away unscathed. Nothing but an injured boyfriend. Can I even call him that Changbin? Do you really think he would ever trust you again after this, because I don't think he would. After all why would he believe you over his own brother. Anyway your parents sent me to gave you a warning lets say."

At that point I saw the hand gun safety still on pointing at the floor.

"So what they gave you a gun and told you to attack an unarmed man. Thats hardly fair do you think. Cowardly if anything."

I knew riling him up wasn't going to buy me much time, I didn't need much anyway. A few more seconds. Come on. Adjust your stance asshole. You can't shoot like that.

There it was. The slight shuffle forwards of his right foot. I heard the safety click off.

"You really shouldn't have called me a coward you know. I was going to go easy on you for my brothers sake but now I'm not so sure."

His right index finger moved slightly in the trigger.

One.

Two.

Three.

Bang.

The bullet rushed over my head, missing by an inch.

Distracted. 

Jake had paused shocked he had missed. That gave the perfect opportunity.

Pinned. 

Within seconds the gun was out of Jake's hand. Him pinned under me on his front arm twisted. If I moved it even an inch more it would break.

Shouting

Nurses came running round the corner as my friends came out of Felix's room.

Sirens.

Some one had called the police.

Questions.

For the second time that week I was being interviewed. 

Praise.

"I'm impressed kid. That's the second time this week you've caught someone we've been looking for for months. You've got great potential. Ever considered being an officer?"

Numb.

I couldn't feel anything. I had acted on instinct. It was like for that moment I didn't need to think my body just acted on it's own. It was exhilarating. Now I just felt numb.

Joy.

Those three words coming from Jisung's mouth as he guided me towards Felix's new hospital room.

Those three words that brought me crashing back to reality.

"Changbin, he's awake."


	26. 'he's awake'

** Felix's POV **

I could hear the voices around me. I could hear the commotion. I heard the gun shot, but I couldn't see any of it. I couldn't even place if it was real or if my head was just reliving that night again. I tried moving. Just a little. Anything to suggest this was real. My finger moved slightly. This was real the second gun shot was real.

"Guys," the voice was distorted. My mind couldn't place who it was, "Guys he's awake."

"What do you mean he's awake Innie?" Another voice said "He hasn't opened his eyes or moved. He's still asleep."

"But jinnie," the first voice, who I guess is Jeongin, whined, "I saw his finger move. Only slightly, but it moved, so he has to be awake."

"Baby, we were told when we got here that his fingers may move. It's something to do with the nerve signals remember," I recognised that voice, that was Chan. Since when did Chan call Innie baby?

"No, Channie I know that but this was different than before it looked like it was on purpose." Innie was still whining, probably annoyed the others didn't believe him.

I tried again to move, I wanted to open my eyes but they felt almost glued shut, so instead I focused on trying to move my hand in some way again. Every limb felt heavy like I was being held to the bed, but then it happened. The pressure came off of my left hand slightly allowing me to lift it up more, slowly the rest of my arm released.

"Oh my god," Seungmin almost screamed, "Innie wasn't lying. Some one go find Changbin. He's awake."

I heard a door open and a slam against something before a voice started screaming Changbin's name, getting fainter and fainter.

"Felix, if you can hear me can you try and open your eyes please sweetie" this voice I didn't know. It was calming and reassuring. It reminded me of the voice my auntie used to speak to me with when I would go to stay with them in the summer in Australia when I was younger.

My eyes seemed to peal apart as I forced them open to see a bright white room. Where was I?

"Felix, I need to sit you up okay?"

My head moved on it's own nodding before I had even registered the question. What happened? I felt an arm rest under my arm and one on my back, there was a slight movement forward and a small ache in my side, as someone adjusted the pillow behind my back.

"Okay Felix, good. Can you look at me now please?"

My eyes, having finally adjusted to the light, shifted to the voice talking. In-front of me was a woman in her mid-thirty's in a set of what looked like scrubs with a white doctors coat over the top and a stethoscope around her neck.

"Okay. Hi Felix. I'm Doctor Kang. I'm going to run some tests. Is that okay?"

I opened my mouth to reply but I couldn't speak. It was like you voice was stuck in my throat, it felt really scratchy to.

"Hey you don't have to try and talk. You've been asleep for three days I imagine your throats quite sore." Doctor Kang put her hand on my shoulder. "There will be a nurse in in a bit with some water."

I nodded, saying that I understood.

"Okay, good. Now I'm going to shine this light in your eye and I just want you to follow my instructions okay?"

After about fifteen minutes of her running test and checking my blood pressure and my wounds she gave the all clear and let everyone back into the room. The nurse came in with them to give me some water and then left.

I scanned the room, looking for one person in particular. I couldn't see him.

"Changbin?" my voice scratched out so quiet I though they might not have heard it.

"Hey Felix, he's on his way. Something happened just before you woke up, Ji went to go find him." Minho was sat on the chair on the left side of my bed.

"Okay" it came out in a whisper but I knew he heard me.

"Felix, what happened? You don't have to tell us, Changbin won't even tell us what happened in the warehouse."

I shook my head. The things that happened that day still fresh and I didn't want to share them. This was something that could stay a secret. 

At that moment the door swung open smashing against the wall, making everyone in the room jump.

There stood Changbin behind his shoulder was a very out of breath Jisung.

"Binnie," it came out in a whisper. He was here. He didn't leave. "hug, please?"


	27. 'everything is up to you, okay?'

**Changbin's POV**

I ran. Jisung told me he was awake and I ran with him screaming directions to the room from somewhere behind me. I reached the door and paused. I could hear the voices behind it asking Felix what happened there was silence and no response. Not wanting to risk them pushing him anymore I shoved open the door, maybe a bit hard as it slammed against the wall making everyone jump and turn towards me.

Looking over at Felix's bed everything seemed almost worth it. Just to see the small smile on his face when he realised it was me I would do it all over again.

"Binnie," his voice was almost inaudible. "hug, please?"

He looked so vulnerable, but so soft and cuddly at the same time. I wasn't going to say no.

Walking quickly over to his bed, I gave him a small quick hug before pulling away and turning to walk back to where Chan was stood. I felt a small pull on my hand stopping me from moving, I turned back towards Felix to see him shake his head and make grabby hands at me. I looked at the boys unsure if I was allowed to sit with him. They all shrugged, so I did it any way.

"Try move up a little bit then, Felix." He shook his head at me. "Huh, I thought you wanted hugs?"

"You called me Felix." he pouted "You never call me Felix, you always call me Bookie."

I smiled slightly. He still wanted me to call him Bookie, that meant he wasn't angry right. 

"I thought you would still be upset with me and not want me to call you that." 

He shook his head again smiling, "I was upset and confused that's all. You got me out of there why would I still be upset with you. You saved me Binnie, you got me out of there alive."

"Okay, try move up a little bit then, Bookie."

He giggled at this, shuffled and then pointed behind me. I turned to see Minho shuffle everyone including a very grumpy Chan out of the room before turning and giving a thumbs up and shutting the door.

I climbed into the bed next to Felix rapping my arm around his neck so he could lean on my chest. He nuzzled into me before speaking.

"Binnie are you okay?" His voice sounding less hoarse now. "I heard the gun shot when I woke up and then Minho said something had happened and Ji had to go find you."

I could tell he was getting worked up and anxious that something was wrong. I started rubbing small circles on his shoulder and gave him my hand so he could play with my fingers to distract himself.

"I'm fine, a bit shaken, but fine. Do you want me to tell you what the gun shot was?"

He nodded into my chest, still focusing on playing with my fingers. 

"You have to promise me something then. Promise me you won't think worse of the person okay. Being in that environment messes with your head, it makes you feel like you have no other choice. Okay, you can't hate this person."

"Okay." He nodded into my chest again.

"Jake showed up around one this afternoon. He came to say he wanted to make sure you were okay and thank me for getting you out of there. Something about the way he said it, it just felt off. So I tried asked him the real reason he was there and he said that once he'd apologise him and Chaeyong would be out of the way. I felt even weirder after that. I mean why had he got a girlfriend when his brother was in danger. Especially when he was working with the people that abducted you." I paused taking a breath before continuing. 

"I pushed kind of hard I guess said somethings to rile him up, make him snap. He was there to try and kill me I think. Thats what he said anyway, something about my parents giving me a warning. He brought a gun. I think he was going to try to kill me. He shot at me. I managed to duck and have it miss me. Everything from that point blurs. Some one called the police. Your brother is in custody now I think. The next thing I remember properly is Ji coming and telling me you were awake."

I paused again watching everything settle in to Lix's mind as his facial expression changed.

"I'm so sorry Bookie. I know you wanted him to be alive and still be the same person that left. I'm so sorry."

His face didn't change that much. A look of expectance graced his it.

"To be honest," he started looking up at me, "I had kind of expected him not to be a good person after he faked his death. When I realised that was what he did, I don't think that my parents thought he was dead either. You don't have to apologies, none of what he did was your fault, none of any of this was your fault." He interlaced his fingers with mine and gave my hand a small squeeze. "It's not your fault, okay? I trust you, okay? I love you, okay? I am so sorry I ignored you. I was so confused as to why you didn't tell me that night when you realised about Jake. I was so confused as to why you focused so much on making me believe you loved me instead of telling me. I thought maybe you were lying as a way to distract me or something."

He took his head off of my chest looking at me again. 

"I think I understand now. The month away from you gave me time to think. I realised you just wanted to help calm me back down and keep me as happy as possible. I realised that you were probably just as confused as I was. I shouldn't have ignored you for that long. You never did anything wrong. I'm sorry. I want to start over. Right from the beginning, okay?"

"You have nothing to apologies for okay. I understand. I get it. I probably would have done the same thing, but I wasn't lying okay. I love you, that's unlikely to change. If you want to resart we can. I don't mind Bookie. Everything is up to you, okay?"


	28. 'Disney owns marvel therefore this is diney'

**Felix POV**

I had been in the hospital a week now and the wound on my hip from the bullet, although still slightly achey, had healed enough for me to go home.

"You ready to go?" Changbin was stood at the door, holding out his hand waiting for me. He had barely left since the day I woke only going home to shower and change when I forced him to. He even ended up falling asleep here most nights, I think the nurses took pity on him to let him stay after hours, but that's not the point. 

The point is every time he was here he would go out of his way to make sure I was comfortable. When he went home he would bring back snacks for me, I think he knew that the hospital food was gross. He would give me cuddles when ever I wanted to and even though I knew there was a part of him that wanted to, he never asked about what happened when I was taken. To say I was grateful for him would be an understatement. He had been an angel through out the whole ordeal and I had a lot to thank him for.

That's not to say the others didn't come to see me. They had all made a rota as the hospital didn't want to let more than three people in at a time and no-one but me or Minho could convince Changbin to leave. When I would wake up in the morning Seungmin and Hyunjin would be there with the homework we'd missed from the day before. At lunch time Chan would show up with Jeongin bringing random snacks with them, they would sit for an hour and talk about anything we'd missed at school like how Chenle and Jisung had finally gotten together or how Mark and Haechan were fighting again, none of it mattered to me really but it was nice to not feel disconnected from everyone.

Then at the end of the school day Binnie would go home and shower and I'd be left for an hour or so to work on any left over work from the day before. When he came back he'd bring more snacks and Minho and Ji with him. They would talk about random stuff and Jisung would bring his switch with him and we'd sit and play random games until they had to go. They would take our work from the day with them and then everything would repeat again.

We'd always, with the exception of last year, been really close as a group, but something about this situation seemed to have brought us impossibly closer, it was nice.

"Yeah," I replied grabbing Changbin's hand, "I'm ready to go."

We walked out through the halls of the hospital passing Doctor Kang who offered a warm smile before turning back to her patient. 

"It feels weird going back to Chan's. I don't know. It feels like everything started there. You know, I saw you before I started school that day. I think I moved in during the time you where converting the basement into a studio. Do you remember that day?" I asked Changbin turning to face him as we walked. 

"Yeah, I remember that day. I don't remember seeing you though."

"Well, I saw you carrying the equipment into the back room before going down stairs. Everything seemed really intimidating so I didn't come down to say hi, I kinda hid in my room that day." I laughed a bit remembering that day. I had snuck down at one point when Chan said they had finished putting the sound proofing up, Binnie was carrying the boxes down to the now studio, his biceps where flexed and let me tell you that's enough to make anyone feel faint or intimidated, you choose.

Changbin's paused his step for a minute, pulling me back, before we rounded the corner into Chan's estate. I stumbled slightly resting my hands on his shoulders to balance myself. I looked down to Changbin's face, my heart feeling like it was beating out of me chest, to see him already looking at me.

"Do you remember your first day in class when you tried to talk to me?" He asked quietly even though we were in the middle of the street it felt like we were somewhere no-one could find us, just the two of us.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"I'm sorry for that day, for not talking to you. I must have looked like such a dick." He muttered still looking straight into my eyes but breaking the contact every few seconds letting his gaze fall on my lips before raising it back to my eyes.

"How many time's do I have to tell you to stop apologising?" my voice coming out no more than a slight whisper. I could feel his breath on my lips as his hands stayed resting on my hips. The position felt all too familiar and not in the sense that it happened before, in the sense of it feeling natural almost too safe and normal, but it still sent my heart running a hundred miles an hour. 

His eyes flickered to my lips again. At this point I was getting bored of waiting.

"Binnie, if you're going to kiss me just do it. Its cold and I want to go home and watch-"

I didn't get to finish my sentences before his pillowy soft lips rested on mine again, it had been to long since the first kiss and a hole zoo erupted in my stomach again the same as the first time. This just felt right. Fuck starting over. This is perfect I just want to stay like this.

I felt Changbin pull away slightly causing a whine to escape my mouth, not wanting the contact to end.

"Bookie as much as I would love to continue kissing you, if I don't get you home now Chan will think I've kidnapped you." He smiled at me, grabbing my hand and dragging me towards Chan's house. 

"That wouldn't be such a bad thing would it." I mumbled quietly in homes that Binnie wouldn't hear.

"What was that Bub?" 

Shit he heard me. "Nothing, come on I'm cold." I said quickly running towards the front door opening it and pulling Changbin inside with me. 

"Hi Chan." I screamed assuming he was probably in the studio, before running the stairs still holding Changbin's hand. "Bye Chan, me and Binnie are watching movies in my room"

"Are we now," Changbin asked "I don't remember agreeing to this Bookie."

"You don't get a choice, I want cuddles and you give the best cuddles so come here." I replied getting into bed and turning on my laptop loading up Netflix. 

"Fine," I heard Binnie mumble before the bed dipped beside me and I was pulled into Changbin's chest.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked snuggling into his chest further finding the most comfortable spot.

"Disney marathon?"

I nodded slightly before loading 'Spiderman into the spider verse' up on my computer.

"Hey this doesn't count Bub, I thought we were going to watch like tangled or something."

"What do you mean it doesn't count, Disney own marvel therefore this is Disney. Also this is a great move so shut up. Also tangled isn't on Netflix and I'm too broke for Disney+, so again shut up. Love you" I gave him a small peck on the cheek before starting the film, hoping that he wasn't looking at me so he wouldn't see the blush rising on my cheeks behind my freckles.

"Okay Bub, we'll count this as Disney" he gave me a small peck on my head before settling to watch the film.


	29. 'I-you make me feel safer'

** Changbin's POV **

Waking up the morning after Felix got out of hospital was like déjà vu. It felt so calming to see his head nestled into my chest, his breathing soft. Everything that had happened a week ago felt worth it in some twisted way, I felt like if it hadn't happened Felix probably still wouldn't be talking to me. 

I laid there for a while, admiring Felix's face, not wanting to wake him up. I'm not sure how it was possible for someone to look so cute and peaceful when sleeping, I'm pretty sure I look like a troll, but some how he still looked like an angel.

The door slammed open, waking Felix up, as Chan barged in. 

"Dude, come on he was still sleeping asshole." I complained slightly as Felix rubbed his face into my shoulder.

"I don'y care mate. It's 11 in the morning and I have 4 annoying kids and Jeongin down stairs demanding to see Felix now that he's out of hospital, so get up." With that he turned down the hallway walking back down the stairs shouting back up, "If you're not up in ten minutes I'll send everyone up stairs and we'll just stay in Lix's room."

After it went quiet Lix lifted his head off my chest, with a grumpy pout on his face. 

"Sorry Bub," I said giving him a small peck on the end of his nose and climbing out of bed. "Looks like we have to get up. I'm going to brush my teeth you coming?"

He didn't reply instead sleepily raising his arms and making grabby hands, signalling he wanted carrying. 

"Fine," I wrapped my hands around his hips and lifted him up so he was koala hugging me and carried him to the bathroom, sitting him onto the counter. I gabbed his tooth brush and a spare from the cabinet behind Felix's head. Putting on the toothpaste and running the brush under the tap I gave him the brush.

"Binnie?" his voice muffled by the brush.

"mhmm" I turned slightly to face him when he didn't answer only to be met with a soft pressure on my cheek.

"Thank you, for staying." He muttered before going back to brushing his teeth.

"I wasn't ever planing on leaving." I replied.

\-------------------------------------<3----------------------------

We were all yet again settled down stairs in the studio. This time Felix was sat on my lap, he'd been really clingy from the moment we left the hospital, not that I was complaining, it was adorable, but I felt like something was wrong. Everyone as usual were being really loud and probably wouldn't notice if me and Felix slipped out of the room for a while.

I tapped Felix's hip signalling for him to get up, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the living room. He gave a slight questioning look but complied anyway.

"What's wrong?" I asked, turning to him.

He looked down, hiding his eyes. I could see the corner of his lips turn down. I lifted his chin forcing him to look at me.

"It's okay. If you don't want to tell me. You just seem to be acting a little different and you looked upset. Did some thing happen? Did I do something?" It came out of my mouth before I even realised the questions would likely overwhelm him.

His eyes glistened slightly as he shook his head, wrapping his arms around my waist and bringing his head down to burry it in my neck.

"Nothing's wrong really." He muttered into my neck, his breath tickling slightly, "I just keeps seeing it I guess. I see the room sometimes, even when we were in the hospital. I can feel the rag on my face. Sometimes I feel the burn in my throat, mimicking whatever chemical they used. When Chan banged the door open this morning, I felt like crying it put me back in that place."

He had removed himself from the hug now taking himself to sit on the sofa a few meters away from me.

"I got really scared. It felt so constricting, I'm not sure if that make's sense. Although I'm physically better, mentally I don't think I'll be better for a while. I - you make me feel safer. This morning, I don't know if you realised you did it, but when Chan was talking you kinda tightened your grip a bit, it brought me back out of my head a bit. I feel safe with you. So I'm going to be okay."

I walked towards him wrapping him back into my arms.

"I love you more than anything, you know that?" I whispered into his hair, "If you feel anything like that ever promise me you won't be afraid to come find me. If you need me in the middle of a class or the middle of the night don't be afraid to call me or text me. I promise I will try harder to not let anything like that happen to you again, okay?"

"I promise." He said clinging to my shirt. "I love you Binnie."

"I love you too Bub."

\---------------------------- <3 --------------------------

A few days latter Felix had finally started coming to school again. After everything I was so proud of him for being able to step foot back onto the grounds. It wasn't easy. He has only been back two days and I had to go find him three times, but it was okay, I didn't mind. 

What I did mind was a comment Jake had made that day in the hospital. He had called Felix my boyfriend. Could he be called that? We hadn't really labeled what was going on. I knew I wanted to be my boyfriend, I knew I loved him, I knew I had to ask at some point, but I could never find the right time. I wanted it to be romantic. Not like how Minho asked Ji out, but some way that showed the same level of care and love for Felix.

That's what led to Jeongin taking Felix for ice cream, after school today and everyone else bing gathered in mine and Minho's living room all strewn over various parts of the sofa, Ji cuddled into Minho's side and Hyunjin sat, with objections, on Seungmin's lap.

"Seriously Bin, don't overthink it. I'm pretty sure Felix would say yes to you even if you had just thrown a bucket of water over his head. He literally doesn't shut up about you." Chan said his voice muffled by the popcorn that he had decided to shove in his mouth before he spoke.

"I don't thinks that quite true Chan." I muttered, cringing slightly at the sight of the food in his mouth, "besides I want it to be romantic. I mean, Minho sent Ji on a hole ass scavenger hunt of all the places they had memories of, Seungmin fucking followed Hyunjin to a hole other country. I feel like he'd feel less appreciated knowing this and then being asked out with a teddy and chocolates, which at the moment is the only thing I can think of."

Hyunjin sighed slightly, "Bin you're being ridiculous, Seungmin followed me to another country because I couldn't just talk to him and I ran away. Don't forget that Minho and Jisung slept together three times at least before one of them had the guts to confess to each other. You saved Felix from someone who was trying to kill him, he would welcome the normality of asking him out with a teddy and some chocolates, make it ice cream though because he has an obsession with that at the moment."

Minho and Jisung both looked at the floor blushing at Hyunjin's revelation, it wasn't new news to any of us, me especially having been Minho's roommate for so long I had to deal with him renting constantly after the second time they'd got drunk and ended up having woken up in the same bed.

"I guess you're right. Maybe we could go to the ice cream parlour on Friday and I as him then." 

A smug smile fell onto Hyunjin's face. "Of course, I'm right. When am I ever wrong?"

"All the time, jinnie, all the time." Seungmin quietly teased him.

Bring on Friday.


	30. 'ice cream'

** Felix's POV **

The last bell of the weak rang out, me and Hyunjin made our way out of our English class and towards the front of the school. Changbin had asked me to go somewhere with him after school today, which was odd because Friday nights where group night, we'd normally pick a house and go there and generally end up staying over, this weak was Hyunjin and Innie's house, their mum always made us hot chocolate and home made cookies and I didn't want to miss it. It didn't take long for Changbin to convince me though, telling me it would only take a few hours and then we would go to Hyunjin's. I know he would never admit it but group night mattered to him a lot to and he wouldn't want to miss it either.

A familiar set of arms wrapped around my waist causing me to relax back into Changbin's chest. 

"Hi, Bub." He muttered into my shoulder, his voice had a slight waver to it as if he was nervous for some reason. "You ready to go?"

I turned to face him resting my hands on his shoulders, leaning forward and giving him a quick peck on the lips, before replying with a shot nod grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the gate. 

"Bookie, slow down, you don't even know where we are going."

I slowed slightly so that I was walking by his side.

"That's a point, where are we going?"

"Guess"

I hate it when he says that. The fist time he asked me to guess where we were going was about a week into us being friends, we had ended up watching a marvel movie at the cinema which was nice, but I don't like surprises so I had complained the hole way there and I think that annoyed him slightly.

"But Binnie," I was whining and pouting, knowing that was what it normally took to get what I wanted, "you know I don't like surprises. Please, where are we going."

He smiled slightly, but shook his head.

"Nope, don't make that face, I'm not falling for it, not today. It's not a surprise anyway, genuinely guess, I promise it won't be too difficult." 

I frowned slightly nodding. Where could we be going? It would only take an hour or so so it couldn't be the arcade or the movies. Where else would we go? We some times when to the skate pack but we didn't have our boards with us so that wouldn't make sense. Food? Maybe, but where. I know it won't be anything too much because we'll have pizza when we get to Hyunjin's. 

"Ice cream?" I questioned, slightly hyper at the thought.

Changbin turned to look at me with a bright smile, ruffling my hair before he replied.

"Yes Bub, we're going to get ice cream before we go to Innie's."

He chuckled slightly as I bounced up and down at the thought of getting ice cream. 

"You have to answer a question for me first though" he said slowing to a stop, "after you answer you can have what ever ice cream you want."

"Okay"

He mumbled something so quiet I had no idea what it was, then looked down at his feet, a rosy tint creeping up his neck and resting on his cheeks. 

"Look, I understand if you say no. After everything that happened I doubt you would want to and this isn't the best was of -"

I cut him off by lifting his chin so he was looking in my eyes.

"I wasn't saying anything, because I didn't hear what you said doofus." I laughed slightly, "Can you repeat it please."

His face grew ever more red.

"Yeah, sure, ummm.... Would you like maybe, want to be my boyfriend?" he got quieter and quieter with every word as if he believed I would say no.

I felt my cheeks heat up at the question before leaning my chin to rest on the top of his head holding tightly in a hug. 

"Why were you so nervous?" I mumbled, even though my heart was going at a million miles an hour. "Did you think my answer would ever be no?"

I felt him shrug slightly and then nod his head into my shoulder. 

"Changbin why would I ever say no?" I pulled him out of the hug so he could see my face as I spoke. "I have told you so many time in the past week how much I love you, how much safer I feel with you here. What possibly could have given you the idea I'd ever say no? I love you so much. I honestly thought we already were boyfriends. You didn't have to ask. You literally could have just announced us as boyfriends at any point and I would have been more than happy about it. I love you so much. Yes, I'll be your boyfriend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of the story I hope to post more in the future.   
> I hope you enjoyed it. :)


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